The Forgiveness Fallacy
We have all probably been in this situation, at one time or another. Some one has done something; and we have found ourselves offended, by what was said or done. Not to say that the action was about us at all; but perhaps in our minds; we felt that it was.
In any regard, the person or persons is seeking forgiveness. When giving this word much thought; I decided that I would describe it the best way that I could. My only REAL hope being; I hope that by the end of my explanation, I would be able to show the connection between all things.
Some will say, and I must agree, forgiveness comes only through Our Creator. This is what we will call divine forgiveness. This forgiveness, or not; is only given at the end of one’s life. The true judge of our lives will not be, by one another, but through Our Creator. It is at this moment when all of our actions are judged, not just one. This is another reason why we will hear people say that “it is not my place to judge”. Again, I must agree.
We are not in a position to judge another person; however we can make a clear concise decision, as to whether or not the dynamics of the relationship should change.
Why is forgiveness so difficult for most of us? To some, I would dare say, forgiveness means that what was done to us…is okay, acceptable. This is, perhaps, where the difficulty comes from. Forgiving someone does NOT mean that that their action was acceptable, quite the opposite. If their action was acceptable, there would be no need or desire to seek forgiveness.
I read that the Greek translation of forgiveness was “to exhale”. While I found nothing to substantiate that definition, I can understand where it came from.
The largest mistake that I think we make, as human beings, is to think that forgiveness is for others. True; we did not offend ourselves. A larger truth, however, is that we only hurt ourselves when holding on to the offense. The offense, itself, will become life like…and it isn’t. We forgive, because we feel bad on the inside…we want to move forward. Our blood pressure may sky rocket, our blood sugar level may increase, or decrease, we may become physically impaired; all of this because we are not only holding on to the act, but the anger associated with it. So the Greek explanation; seemed honest…we get to exhale. Have you ever held your breath as a child? When you exhaled and took that fresh breath…your entire being seemed refreshed. Forgiveness is very similar in nature, YOU get to be refreshed.
I was looking for the best way to describe forgiveness; this as with all things has its time. Forgiveness is similar to what, Our Creator, does when it rains so very hard. After a hard rain, God’s Rays of Light beam down upon the water; the earth opens up just enough to allow the rain to soak within its ground. When the rain is soaked within the earth; it replenishes the earth and all of God’s creation.
This is true forgiveness; when we forgive and allow that act to show the world that with forgiveness; comes love. As I said before, perhaps we should change the dynamics of the relationship; but do not allow it to take away your humanity.
We all make mistakes, it is the one guarantee that we have, in this life. I hope that we are not all judged by that single act, but we must use common sense when determining how we should relate to that person. Giving forgiveness could change the path of the recipient. Perhaps, the only reason they were brought into our lives; is so we could shine God’s light on them. We must just be aware that not everyone is supposed to be a part of our every day life, forever.
In closing, I would only ask this of you. Let go of grudges, burdens, anger and resentment. Hanging on to such hostility, will only hold YOU back. These feeling or emotions will keep you off of your path. Do people deserve your forgiveness? I think that they are no more deserving than we are, when we seek forgiveness. But when deciding what is or is not forgivable I ask you one thing…use the same love and understanding that you would want to see, from Our Creator.
Love breeds love. Leave your heart open to the ability to see; for forgiveness is not about THEM…but about you and me.