Like a Phoenix…

  I love the story of the Phoenix which rises from the ashes. In this story the beautiful, brilliant bird lives for about 100 years. In the part of its life it nests…in sticks and twigs…which slowly burn; until finally the entire nest is in flames around the bird. And just when you are certain that you know all that there is to tell…a baby Phoenix rises from the flames. This story is very personal to me…because I believe that through true adversity and against unthinkable odds…great things can happen.

  In my interpretation of this story…the fire is symbolic of life and its many obstacles. And like in the story of the Phoenix…just when you feel like the fire has become hotter than you can handle…it is then when we emerge our strongest.

  We have all faced situations that have tried our faith in ourselves or God. Life has a way of making us second guess decisions that we have made. We have faced the death of loved ones…where we may feel that the people who have meant more than anything else in our lives…were stripped from us. We may blame God, or whatever circumstances that led to the unexpected departure. I blamed myself when my sister passed away. I was stuck in regret…and I had a hard time forgiving myself. I couldn’t forgive the fact that I was only human. It took a while, and is still a work in progress, for me to realize that it simply was her time to go home. I most definitely felt that my wings were caught in a blazing fire that day. What I discovered that day though, was not that she left me. The hardest part was the realization that I had to be strong enough to continue on…and I was angry that I had to do it. My flames were my grief…and I burned for what seemed like a very long time. I only began rising from the ashes when I learned that I could forever keep our relationship alive on paper.

  There are people everyday who are plagued with terrible heart wrenching illnesses. There are some who are in emotional or physical pain every second that they are awake and sometimes even when they sleep. There are people can not walk, see, hear, or breathe without assistance. And this can be the flame to their Phoenix; burning brightly. However there those of us who believe that there are some fires that, like the mythical Phoenix, we are supposed to feel. I don’t necessarily think that we are martyrs or anything more special than anyone else…but perhaps the pain of our personal fires can ease the emotional pain of another.

  There are some struggles that make us stronger. Some people have struggled and the world never knew. We often do not see the gift, until their time has passed or the experience has become more enjoyable.

  So,in my rising from the ashes…I wanted to take a moment to point out some poignant beautiful survivors of the fire:

1. Never allowing his learning disability to hold him back…he was fired as a newspapers editor for lacking imagination and good ideas. WALT DISNEY…didn’t even let bankruptcy keep him down.

2. Getting a late start in life this young man did not learn to speak until he was 4 and didn’t read until he was 7. He was considered developmentally handicapped by his teachers and his own parents…luckily the Phoenix…that he is didn’t deter…ALBERT EINSTEIN.

3. One of the best known philosophers of the Classical era…SOCRATES was called an “immoral corrupter of youth” and was sentenced to death.

4. This great artist only sold 1 painting…to a good friend…but followed his passion…and created 800 more. His friend paid a fraction of what the art VINCENT VAN GOGH’s paintings g for now.

5. This renowned poet wrote over 1800 poems…although only 12 of EMILY DICKINSON’s poems were published in her lifetime.

6. His first book was rejected 30 times. In disgust he through t in the trash…thankfully “Carrie” and STEPHEN KING rose from the ashes as well.

7. Divorced, penniless, and driven…this single mom went from being a welfare recipient to one of the world’s richest women in a 5 year period…so the story of “Harry Potter” and J.K. ROWLINGS was born.

  We all have our fires to burn and rise from. Babe Ruth,  who was made famous by hitting 714 home runs during his baseball career…also struck out 1330 times. When he was asked about his record he earnestly stated, “Every strike brings me closer to my next home run”.

  In closing…please keep hope alive…it lives within us all. We need only understand that even when things seem their lowest…the best is yet to come.

~~ From my heart to yours

Building Bridges

   There are people that will come in and out of our lives…and while we may notice there absence, it is my hope that we will not miss the lesson in the experience. We are often saddened by the loss, whether it is through death or people just moving forward. It is my hope that with this we can eventually rally around what they contributed to our lives…be it something profound…or something as simple as teaching us to laugh at the things that don’t kill us. 

   Laughing at adversity allows us to own whatever the stimulus might be…it makes us pro-active instead of reactive. Most people consider reactions to mean we were caught off guard…where as being pro-active infers that we were always ready for anything that may come our way. It gives us strength in the eyes of others…and re-instills the ideas that we are blessed and highly favored. Who doesn’t feel more secure with the knowledge that we are not alone?

  Life can definitely send some jabs and upper cuts our way…but the question is simple…are we so busy trying to patch up the injury that we no longer are looking for the next blow? Did we learn the lesson? There are those people who just sit and wait for the opportunity to present itself…and the opportunity usually tends to be isolation.

   You may say that you aren’t isolated…but let’s re-examine that thought. You may be physically surrounded with numerous people…you have more contacts in your cell phone than most people get holiday cards from…but are you free of isolation? It’s is ironic that these people are called contacts…yet very few actually touch us.

   What is isolation? Generally speaking, isolation occurs when a person sets themselves apart or cuts themselves off from others. You might still think that you don’t do this…but do you? How many people on your contact list…are you truly touched by; keeping in mind that “contact” generally means the state or condition of touching?

   Do you isolate yourself from what happens around you? Do you turn off the news or ignore news articles about things that you find disturbing or negative? Many people do. It can be emotionally taxing to watch how others suffer everyday…perhaps looking the other way will allow us to go on with our day, at least. Who really wants to read or watch stories about homelessness, or crime? Who wants to hear day and day out about the famine in Horn of Africa…and who can bear to see those poor children dying? We have our own problems…and I do not think for one moment that people who think this way are callous or uncaring. They are human. But they are humans who have chosen to isolate themselves.

   Why do you think that so many people rallied around the recently executed Troy Davis? After all, he was found guilty of killing Mark MacPhail…why did he deserve any support? My best guess is this; Troy Davis…showed us that people are not expendable. I don’t think that anyone was supporting a murderer…they were supporting a human being. People gathered together by the groves…to unite for a common cause…to love their fellow man. Troy Anthony Davis woke people up. He made us look at our justice system with clarity…as if we had been walking around in a daze for centuries. Even if for just that moment…we didn’t want to isolate people. We actually wanted contact. We wanted people to know us…and us them.

  From this…conversations started…not just angry debates…but calm intellectual conversations. We started talking about everything! We wanted to know more. If you had a situation that was causing your frustration…I wanted to know about it. Your life began to matter to me. Even if for just one moment…we started remembering that we are supposed to love each other. Inadvertently, we began to “Occupy our Hearts”. The ice around our veins began to slowly melt. It was beautiful.

  Troy Davis reminded us that true justice will only occur when balancement exists. When the scales are tilted…it does not solve anything. He reminded us that only when we live in a society where we are not prejudged for some physical, financial, or religious difference will true justice happen.

  Ultimately, if we were to try and say that these biases do not exist…we are only further proving the fact that we are living in isolation.

  When this world was created…it was populated with living organisms that were molded to our Creator’s liking. We were chosen to live here…and we were chosen because we are all compatible. We can all live here harmoniously…if we so choose. Our problem has never been that we are not being able to love each other; the only problem is our own pre-conceived notions that we are better than another being. We are highly evolved creatures…we have learned how to communicate…we have invented machines to make life simpler. We have sent man and woman into space. We have raised children who would become future diplomats and literal geniuses. Yet we are the only living organisms that refuse to live together…without trying to destroy each other. There are millions of species of animals…that get along better than we do. And we will be the ONLY group of living organisms…who place themselves on the endangered species list. We would rather kill each other off into distinction than to learn how to live harmoniously.

  This is not the end of our story…but if we don’t make changes…it very well could be. Love life…make changes…say hello to someone you have never met. Hold a door open for a complete stranger…get to know your neighbors. Embrace your differences…you might learn something that will enhance your life. You may touch another person by just smiling at them. Encourage the conversation; offer each other loving solutions to a world full of problems. Take the initiative; it is what God has been waiting for all along. If we spend more time building bridges…we can spend less time building prisons.

The Chain of Hope

  I know that life can seem unfair. We often are faced with situations and circumstances that we are not prepared for. It can seem overwhelming at times. We can come to cross roads…where it can appear that we are left to our own devices. Sometimes we might feel like we have made poor decisions and now we feel trapped or snared…like a hunted animal. But what if we really aren’t trapped? What if the poor decision wasn’t really as negative as it appeared? What would you say if I told you that in the times that you feel at your weakest…it is then that God is at His strongest within you? When we are weakened…it is then when we submit to God’s will…so often those times are used to guide us down our true path. You might suggest that for me to even make such a suggestion that I probably had never been faced with such adversity. You would, of course be incorrect, but I can understand how you could be led to that assumption. There have been many times when I have come face to face with traumatic events. I have been forced to make decisions that I would later believe were mistakes. I have suffered considerable loss in my lifetime. I have known pain deeper than most people can imagine. I, too have the scars that abuse and life choices can leave. I have even had moments where I felt completely alone and isolated. But just as surely as the troubles appeared…they would eventually disappear. There are times when we are faced with terrible life altering circumstances that would appear to make us feel victimized or helpless. Everyone experiences this…in one way or another. The importance is not in what happened…but how you rose above it. What happened in that moment when you felt like all hope was lost? How did you get past that ordeal? Often we are tested and it seems unfair or cruel…as if we are left all alone…but we really aren’t. We should use these experiences as spring boards to uplift others. I have found ways of taking my hurtful experiences to help others who have been in the same or similar situation. The whole idea behind this is to continue the chain of HOPE. Hope is a wondrous thing…it can make us decide to get up every single time we fall down. All we really need is for someone to tell us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We really only need to feel like we are not left alone…someone understands. I am here to let you know…hope springs eternal. It doesn’t have an expiration date. Hope is recyclable…once you have hope…then you can pass it on to someone else. It never leaves us…we just have to remember that we have it. NO one can take hope away from us…all they can do is make us pack it away. But when you remember that you have it…it will be there for you. Hope is a gift from God…it is that thing that gives us drive. Hope is what gives victims of abuse the strength to survive. Hope is the feeling we give others with the knowledge that they do not have to walk through life alone. It is reassurance…that we also know what they are feeling and coping with. It is important for all of us to know that…adversity is not the end of our story…it’s just the action in the middle. And I know this because all things begin and end with God. Do you ever wonder what makes people cry when something good happens? Or why people cry during a romantic or suspenseful movie with a loving ending? Why do we cry when we watch a baby smile or say their first word? Why do we cry when we see a loved one after an extended period of time? We cry during these times because it is our proof that God is all around us. We aren’t alone. We are so loved that we get to experience a baby’s smile and laughter. We have hope…for the future of ourselves and our loved ones. It gives us reason to go on. Having hope gives us peace…peace of mind. It fills our hearts with the hope that one day we won’t be at war…one day we won’t have children starving…one day we will be accepted for who we are and not what we look like. It gives the hope to believe that one day our fellow man will love us…as we love him. It gives us the hope to believe that people will stop killing…killing our neighbors….killing our friends…killing our families…that man will stop killing our hope…for the future.

Bent But Not Broken

Bent But Not Broken

  I can recall having conversations with people where the language or tone that they used seemed to hang in the air…like jagged glass. You could almost feel yourself ducking and diving from the impending injury that the words were intended to cause. There are certain words…demeaning…insulting…degrading words that are used like weapons. And there is no mistaking that these weapons are intended to destroy. They may not destroy us, in the literal sense, but they can chip a way at our inner being. Unfortunately what tends to happen is that we direct our anger or frustration of these words, comments or conversations on unsuspecting individuals, who are undeserving of such treatment. This like most things can be a vicious cycle.

  People can impede our progress by creating a wave of negativity which can become extremely destructive…to us or others. When such things are said to us…it is similar to inhaling small doses of poison over an extended period of time. The primary use of any poison is to kill. Verbal poison does not only make us feel bad, but can literally destroy our spirit. I can think of no reason that such behavior should be acceptable. It is only our loving nature that allows us to sit still when others say things that are obviously malicious in intent.

  To say that it is anything other than our good nature that allows us to participate…actively or inactively…in such conversations…would mean that our intent was also poisonous in nature. It is not…no matter what anyone may contend…our nature to be destructive to one another. We have simply for gotten the other part of us. We have forgotten how good it feels when someone is saying nice, kind and loving things to us. If you ever want to test the theory…hold a door open to a stranger…look at the response. Loving behavior begets loving responses.

  I am not suggesting that you hand out money on a street corner…but I am saying use simple loving statements to people. A simple “thank you” and “Good Morning” statement can change the course of some one’s day. With this knowledge…it is also true that being intentionally rude or cruel to people also creates the same behavior. So now can we really sit and judge people for not being kind and good to each other without looking at ourselves and actions more carefully?

  I promise you, the next time someone tries to create a negative conversation with you…concerning you or another human being…if you walk away…they will eventually realize that the behavior is unacceptable to you. Not only this but, to engage in a negative conversation with anyone…just creates more negativity…poison. Walking away is a form of preserving our environment…ridding our atmosphere of hate pollution.

  Even walking away does not have to be negative…just politely let the speaker know that you don’t engage in gossip, or slanderous behavior. Perhaps you will help to show them that what they are doing is not productive. However, even if they do not see it that way…they will know where you stand as an individual.

  I think that we have all been victim of negativity…either directly or indirectly. So this next statement is very important to remember. You are bent…not broken. What does this mean? Simply put…some of the strongest materials have to bend to a forces that appears stronger than them …temporarily. Steel can bow to a stronger wind…an aged oak tree moves when the forces of nature will it to be so…but very seldom do they break. Have you ever thought that you couldn’t take any more…of whatever you are being faced with? Yet…here you are today…bent but not broken. You have learned and adapted. But please understand something…you were allowed to survive. Our Creator had bigger plans for you…and those plans did not include retaliation. We were meant to be forgiving…loving and peace minded souls. We were created to persevere. We will always come up against those who want to challenge our God-given nature. We will meet and be touched by those that only want to cause harm and hurt. But we control what effect they have within us. No one can disrupt my peace unless I allow it to happen. This is very important, because it is a public service announcement…you may throw me off balance…but I will steady myself and I will walk away unscathed…because I was created of peace.

  Everyday when I wake up…I have already decided who I am going to be that day. I have already decided that I am going to remain positive…in the wake of war. I have decided to be peaceful…while our world is killing just for the sake of the kill. I will be loving even in a world that hates just because of the tone of my skin. And I will stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves…because I am of God.

  Why is Bent but not Broken such an important statement to me? Well, it was a lesson my sister taught me a long time ago. And the lesson was simple…you may have bumps and bruises and even scars from life…but it didn’t kill you…you lived to tell the story. It is about giving thanks…divinely.