My Memory of You

My Memory of You

I often wish you were still here

But when I pause for a while

I remember my life fulfilled

Memories by the mile

I remember the funny things you said

Even using some of it now

Hoping to share your sweet love

Through my grief some how

I still yearn to escape

To your loving abode

Enjoying your take on life

The stories you told

Will anyone really ever

Hear the angel in your voice

Now it seems as if

There isn’t much choice

I miss your melodic harmony

Chased down with that smile

Blue eyes sparkling and dancing

In a world gone wild

It’s funny the things

We all take for granted

Saying words…doing harm

Things can’t be recanted

I laugh to myself when

I call to you in a dream

Seeming even in slumber

God knows what you mean

He sends you when I’m weary

Can’t seem to find my way

Reminding me to be thankful

For new memories I’ve made

So true you aren’t in them

But lucky for others and me

You are felt all around

Like the bark on my tree

Remember the story I told you

About people and a tree

Fruit and leaves are temporary

It’s the roots which ground me

You were always my root

Holding me steady and strong

Keeping my eyes on God

Right where they belonged

You are and were

My truest best friend

Which God bonded in blood

Were there til the end

And while my heart still aches

Over the loss of my sister my friend

I hold you closer still

With every memory I spend

For every memory I lend out

Reminds me that I didn’t lose at all

Instead of focusing on a broken heart

I’ve built a memory wall

So those who need it

Maybe are heart broken too

They can come and smile

At my memory of you

Find Humility

Find Humility

Another sweet child

We laid to rest

Humanity escaping

Another failed test

Failing to reach out

Failing to lift up

Another coffin

We helped to seal shut

Bruises …a reminder

Of the evils men do

Another crack

A child has fallen through

Only six years old

The violence we eject

Taken by a parent

Was supposed to protect

No excuse will do

It can not be made right

One less child of God

Will breath again tonight

IN after thought I know

This child is better today

No more possibility of abuse

Like ones from yesterday

Still I wiped away a tear

It fell from my eye

Could say I understand

But that would be a lie

Wasn’t wearing a hoodie

Not carrying a bag of skittles

Another unjustifiable killing

Of a soul…so little

Just violence that’s all

I don’t really care why

The hate we emit

Can no longer be denied

Another last breath taken

A life stolen in haste

Any regrets that are felt

Now seem in bad taste

After the smoke clears

The fire has burned out

All that is left is…why

Why did it come about?

Children are not little adults

Silence is not peace

Oh the sins we commit

Promises we don’t keep

When a stranger kills a child

They didn’t know them…we feel bad

But what can we say

When the murderer is their dad?

Can we say it was about race

Being outside when it was late

We didn’t know their intention?

NO…this was just about hate

Hatred of self

Hatred of the divine

The idea of alibi’s

Is all in your mind

I pray God can forgive

The evils of man

But we have to change

Take a firm stand

No matter whose child you touch

In my heart it’s an offense to me

You’re an insult to my God

To my tranquility

Do not raise your arm

To a child any more

You may win that battle

But will lose the war

An offense on a child

Is slapping God in the face

You are killing off

Our human race

Stand on alert

States kill men for less

The tables might be turned

You might be next

Love that child often

Be the being you should be

I pray that God will forgive us

And we find humility

 **I wrote this in memory of Afton Allison…a 6 year old child of God killed by his father…I hope you get to read the article about him**

~RIP Afton

Best Friend

Best Friend

It’s been a while since I wrote you

Not that I don’t miss your face

But God has reminded me

Has let me borrow His grace

He has shown me your life

Touched so much more than me

So to keep you all to myself

Would be nothing less than greed

I still miss your contagious laughter

The way you wrinkled up your nose

The way your eyes sparkled

Oh, I really miss those

I miss calling you up

And you yelling for it taking so long

Yes, sometimes I still cry

When I hear your favorite song

I still wish this was a dream

That I could go to your house

Watching and enjoying you

Just watching you go about

The days sometimes go forever

The nights can be so hard

To say how much I love you

Would fill a greeting card

I get angry so often

People take for granted time

I wish they could see

This broken heart of mine

How foolish people are

Wasting words of vile intent

Oh, the regret that happens

When all your time is spent

I feel closer to God now

We talk a lot more

About His divine plan for me

The blessings He has in store

I’m sorry if I ever failed

To tell you enough

I’m proud to be your sister

I love you very much

When I mess up…we know I will

Just give me a gentle nudge

I know you will mean well

And you aren’t trying to judge

But that’s what families do

Look over each other’s hearts

That hasn’t changed even though

We’re further apart

Thank God for the time

He gave to us down here

We will always have your memory

Only your body disappeared

If there’s one thing I got

From your time with me

I hope it was your loving way

And bright energy

Cause sometimes the clouds seem to part

When I’m missing you too bad

Like God’s giving me a moment

With the best friend I ever had

Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

Another life we wasted
Another soul lifted up
When will we decide
Enough is enough

Never to graduate high school
Never to marry a wife
No more memories created
Someone stole his life

Another parent mourning
Another memorial set
Why do we only celebrate life
When there has been a death

Death is permanent movement
It cannot be apologized away
No matter what we will do
No matter what anyone will say

A young life shot down
We can all speculate why
We feel the pain of it all
As we start to cry

Another child unprotected
Took his last breath
A loved child of God
Yes we loved him til death

Embrace your children now
Let not a moment pass
Our time is ticking
And simply goes too fast

Don’t allow a funeral to be
What brings loved ones together
For when they are gone to soon
They are lost to us forever

You

You

Once there was anguish

More pain than anyone knew

And God again proved His love

Because then came you

Rough around the edges

But so beautiful to the core

A warrior when needed

But there was so much more

So much more I needed to tell you

Much more that you needed to know

And oh how you were loved

I was amazed as I watched love grow

I had never visually imagined

Someone as unique as you

Could create so much balance

I’m glad that God knew

He knew I needed you

So He created a place

So in my hectic life

For you He made a space

One that I thought would last forever

I never imagined saying goodbye

And doing so caused so much pain

I thought I would surely die

But dying was not God’s plan for me yet

There was more I needed to do

So I hold my memories close

Thankful that there was you

Your voice kept me going

Long after the flesh had gone to pass

Reminding me to stop…slow down

That I didn’t want to move to fast

Take time to smell the flowers

Because they too have a short time

To leave footprints on your heart

Right along side of mine

Slow down in your speech

Use thoughtful words and phrase

Show your love through expression

We all need that these days

Remember its okay to cry about loss

But in your heartfelt pain

Recreate the laughter we shared

And learn to enjoy that again

Her voice would sometimes whisper

The pain will one day subside

It’s what you choose to with it

But only you can decide

Decide to move on with life

Decide to hold me forever in your heart

And know that in my bodies passing

Even death can’t keep us apart

Death is not a punishment

Or judgment God is placing

Just that my role in life was over

You have not been forsaken

Understand who you are

And the love you helped create

Know that your heart may feel pain

But God won’t allow it to break

So as my sister’s voice fades she says

There’s something I need you to do

Remember when I needed hope

Was when God gave me you

Worthwhile

Worthwhile

I thought of something today

I just had to give you a call

Then sadly I realized

There wouldn’t be an answer…no answer at all

It made me think of time wasted

And I was filled with regret

Regret of vacations not taken

And memories we hadn’t made yet

Did I ever tell about how your smile

Made you stand out in a crowd

And how every day I’m left hoping

That you are smiling down us now

To know you was to love you

And to love you was a gift

Now I’m left regretful

Of all the chances that I missed

The times I missed out on your calls

Missed out on your laugh

Missed the chance to look into your eyes

Missing now what we had

I don’t think I paid enough attention

And now I’m stuck trying to recall

The greatest sister since creation

The brightest light of us all

If you are watching…know that

I know you no longer feel pain

And for that I am thankful

But one truth still remains

My heart it is still breaking

But my lungs still fill with air

The world it keeps spinning

And it doesn’t seem fair

Please look down often

And remind us to go on

Until one day we are doing it

All on our own

One day in the future

You will look down from the sky

Smile down on us to say

See…I told you…you’re going to be alright

In closing my blue eyed angel

Give God thanks and a smile

For these precious moments with you

Made my life seem worthwhile

**I am sharing this post with our friends at http://dversepoets.com on their open  link night Tuesday at 3PM est …I hope you all will join us there**

The Rest of My Days

The Rest of My Days

 

 

 

Another month passes

All of a sudden it’s been a year

And the pain is still present

Because you are not here

 

So much has happened

Which you already know

And even though I miss you

My love still grows

 

I find your laughter

Everywhere the sun shines

Don’t worry…the sadness

That is all mine

 

You didn’t cause my tears

You didn’t cause the blues

You only brought smiles

Even if you didn’t intend to

 

I can imagine your home

Is one fit for a king

This is appropriate

Since you are a queen

 

You are my sister always

My very best friend

Things you always were

Up till the very end

 

So today I send love

Up to the stars

Knowing it will find you

Wherever you are

 

Know that even though at times

My heart feels heavy

I know when God took you

You were ready

 

Even now as I try to blink

Past the tears of my pain

I am thankful for your presence

My life will never be the same

 

And if I could touch another

Whose heart is breaking too

I would remind them of the blessing

Of knowing someone like you

 

I would tell them this is the sign

That love is our only task

And the rewards are all ours

We only need to ask

 

God will send us angels

Very similar to you

To remind us of our purpose

And the thing we should do

 

Give forgiveness often

And love with your entire soul

Lift up our neighbors

And watch our blessings begin to grow

 

So even though I know

I miss with each passing day

Your love was a blessing

God gave me everyday

 

So to you and to HIM

I give thanks and praise

For granting me enough love

To fill the rest of my days

 

 

TODAY

TODAY

Blinking past tears
Getting harder to hide
Something is missing
I no longer can deny

I understand the selfishness
That breaks my heart so
But I’m left with a pain
My life has never known

I know you were a part
Of God’s much larger plan
But your absence in my days
Is almost more than I can stand

I’ll have moments of peace
Followed by sudden dismay
Praying to God
Please don’t let me hear her name

The silence can be so deadly
Like a terminal disease
I keep moving forward
But it’s so hard to find relief

You were a blessing in my life
And all others you did touch
I know you have eternal peace
But I still miss you so much

Your life was a constant reminder
To make the most of today
Because as surely as God giveth
He most readily can take away

Not take away to punish
Or as payment for our sins
But to replenish His Heavenly Kingdom
With the angel you were within

How wonderful is our Father
Who truly understands
The impact of those eyes
The strength found in your hands

The sweet beauty of your laugh
That ever so bears…on my heart
Yet and still it is these things
Which make it difficult being apart

And yes of course I know
That you are with me always still
It is only your voice I’m missing
Which I know is God’s will

So tonight like nights before
I will fall down to pray
Always letting God know
I submit to His way

And whatever His plan
For my path and for me
Will be all that I want
As I fall to my knees

So while I will always miss you
And your beautiful way
I give thanks for the chance
To say I love you…today

~~ From my heart to yours

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

When did I last say goodbye?

When did you last say my name?

 If I knew then what I know now…

What would I have changed?

 Would I have been less rushed?

 Would I have visited you more?

 Would I have held you close… like a secret…?

Only for me to know?

Would I have laughed with you more?

 And nagged a little less?

Would I have told you over and over?

 How your life made me feel blessed?

 Would I have had deeper talks?

About creation and our paths…

Would we have spent more time joking

 And letting the bad times pass?

 Would I have called you everyday?

Like I knew I always should…

As I watch my hands tremble…

Wishing now if I only could.

And I know I should try

To send you a smile…

For God lent me

HIS angel for a while.

 You let me borrow your shoulder

 When I needed my very best friend…

Showing me that I wouldn’t break,

 But it was okay to bend.

 You wrapped me in your love

 In your own Melissa way…

And showed me it may look bleak…

But I would be okay.

 You never let me give up on me

 Or on my GOD…

Saying”the stars are your compass…

Your pen is your rod”.

 You armed me for battle

And when the war began…

You stood right there beside me

 Where you had always been.

 Thank you for never… doubting the belief

 That I would love you forever…

But forever was too brief.

 So on your birthday

 I wanted you to see…

I will love you to the end,

 And thanks for the memory.

**I don’t normally write poetry…and this one came to me when I was having a hard time trying to cope with the birthday of my sister, who past away this year.

I wanted to share it with “Hedgewitch” Joy Ann Jones and everyone at http://dversepoets.com/ Thank You

To You From Me

                                                          To You From Me

Today, I thought of something I wanted to tell you…and I picked up the phone to call; I almost started dialing when I realized you wouldn’t be picking up. And I thought about all the wasted time I spent not calling you. I thought about all the wasted hours, minutes and seconds not spent telling you how very much I love you. Shame on me for not taking more time to shine God’s light on one of the most beautiful people I have ever known. Now I have moments filled with regret. I regret not telling you how bright your smile always was…and I pray that you are smiling down on us now. I regret the calls I didn’t make, or the vacations we didn’t take; I wish I could have those moments back. I wonder if you ever knew that when people met you, they couldn’t help but to love you. You had this aura around you; everyone wanted a part of it. You never wanted to be more than who you were; did you ever know that people would give anything to think about themselves that way? You could find laughter in everything. Even in illness, or sorrow…I can hear your laughter, even now. I can remember going through so much, being so sad…and you making jokes about everything. Always willing to give and be all that you can…for those whose smiles didn’t come so easily. Are you watching us now? Do you see how hard life has become for me? If you are, please know that I know you are in a better place. You don’t have to be in pain, or feel sorrow ever again…I am so thankful for that. But I am over wrought with sadness…my heart feels like it is breaking and re-breaking everyday. Please forgive me for being so weak. Forgive me for not sharing every moment with you…please know that my heart was always in the right place. Every once in a while, look down on us, and remind us to laugh at ourselves. Show us how to continue loving ourselves and each other; remind us to find reasons to get out of bed…until finally we do it without thinking about it. Finally, our blue eyed angel, give God our undying gratitude. For, even though our hearts are heavy right now, because your stay with us was far too brief…you have left your footprints on our hearts.