God’s Life Raft

God’s Life Raft

Oh, lonely moon
In a midnight sky
Silent watcher of a
Young child’s cry

Cries in the night
For help go unheard
Never acknowledging
…imagining the brutal hurt

Bruises unexplained
Left on purest skin
A child’s personal war
Is about to begin

Cruelest of words
Thrown at an innocent heart
May seem climactic
But it’s only a start

Little bodies torn
From invasion so vile
She has no hope
Her body defiled

We argue about cell phones
And going out
Her screams are silent
…every day she shouts

She just needs one person
…one human being
To step up to the plate
About what they have seen

Yet again heads are turned
…often a tear falling away
And she’s having to face
Terror again today

This criminal she knows
…she loved and did trust
What is the world becoming
…what’s happened to us

This once sweet lamb
…knows what true evil does
Innocence lost
…barely remembers what it was

If we fail to make the call
…afraid of stepping up
Her life may end
…all because of us

Often when we ask God
To help us through
He throws only one life raft
…what if it’s you?

Would you then look to others
To shout to the world
Leave her alone
…she’s just a little girl

I beg you to please
Step out of your shell
While you are deciding
…she lives in Hell

**In the spirit of trying to do our part…we are donating a portion of our proceeds from the sale of “The Light of Our Path” to the Atlanta Childrens Shelter, Inc.

The Day My World Shook

The Day My World Shook

 

  The ground shifted under my feet, did she say cancer? No, there must be a mistake. I just came in for a check up a few days ago…life was normal. Did she say cancer? No, she has me confused with someone else. Things like this don’t happen to me. I must have looked at her like she was speaking in a foreign language, because she just looked back and didn’t utter a word. I felt her touch the top of my hand…I snatched it back like she sent an electric charge through my skin. No, don’t console me. She was wrong. Do I look like a cancer patient? No. I do everything right. I am kind to people. I watch what I eat. I exercise. I pray. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to people like me. I keep muttering to myself…what did I do wrong? I spoke a little too loudly. She responds as if I am asking her the question. She says there is often no explanation as to what causes a woman to start producing cancerous cells. Did she say cancer again? I shake my head in disbelief…will someone make her stop saying that?

  She asks if someone was with me, because we needed to discuss treatments. Of course no one was with me…this was just a check up. Treatment, did she say treatment? Ummm, how do we get rid of it?  She smiles. Why was she smiling? There is no cure for cervical cancer. No cure? Okay, yeah, I knew that. Breathe…don’t forget to breathe. Do not pass out. I ask her, “Why do I have cancer”? She gives me the generic, “there is no way to know why exactly”. She went on about genetics, diet, and other contributing factors, but wrapping it up telling me that it may be none of the above. Why am I asking dumb questions? I know all of this. Wait, am I going to die? I almost couldn’t see her expression, blinking through my own tears. We are going to try and get it under control before we have to think about that. Try? Breathe…don’t forget to breathe, Wait, don’t breathe too hard…you are going to start hyper ventilating. It’s going to be okay, but you have to get a grip on your emotions right now.

  She starts telling me that she wanted to try and freeze the cells…but the disease is too progressive. We have to do a biopsy to see exactly what we are dealing with. My mind starts spinning. How did I get to this place?

  Two weeks ago I was in my friend Lisa’s car with our kids. She had asked me to go to the pediatrician with her. We are on our way home from the doctor and a dump truck ran a red light and turned across our lane from the opposite direction. It was like a cartoon…in slow motion. I remember saying to her…”is he going to stop”? He didn’t. He hit us head on. I remember my face hitting the dashboard a few times, because her car was old and only had lap belts. I remember lifting my face off of the dashboard…my eyes were closed. Did I pass out; maybe for a minute or two? Everything was still. When I lifted my face, blood was pouring out of it. I couldn’t let them see me bleeding, they will panic. I crawled out of her car. I was walking, although I am not sure where I was walking toward. A woman stopped me, she was afraid to touch me. I could barely hear her voice. Was she whispering? No, my ears are ringing. She asks me to sit down on the side of the road. She says she is a nurse from New York. She asks to check out my wounds. But I asked her to please check everyone else first. I sit down and put my face on my knees. There was blood all over my shirt and the upper portion of my pants were soaked in blood. I am feeling my teeth…okay, they are all here. She comes back and says the blood on my daughter’s head was not hers, but mine. I hear an ambulance. A guy I know stopped to check on us. He didn’t realize I was hurt until I lifted my head off of my knees. He saw my face and it looked like he was going to pass out too.

  I couldn’t get my mind together; my girlfriend had to answer the E.M.T.’s questions. I couldn’t remember anything about my health. She kept looking at me asking if I was okay. I could see her mouth moving; but I was looking through her. Did that dump truck driver really hit us? Why didn’t he try to stop? Luckily some guys ran him down and forced him to pull over. We would learn later during a court appearance that he was half blind, and was supposed to wear thick eye glasses. He wasn’t wearing glasses on the day of the accident. He could have killed us. We were lucky. For the most, all injuries seemed superficial. My face was severely bruised, so much so, that on my first doctors visit the nurse asked me if I was a domestic violence victim. Both of my eyes were black and blue. My face was swollen; my lip was cut open too. There were bruises on my thighs, ribs and across both of my breasts.

  It was the bruises on my chest that prompted me to visit my ob/gyn. I wanted make sure there were no lumps or anything like that since I hit the dashboard so hard. Now I remember, my doctor asked if I wanted a pap smear while I was there. I can recall thinking, no. But for whatever reason, I said yes.

  A week later here I am…living with cancer. My doctor said there was no telling how long I had actually had it. She said it could have been dormant in my system for a while, and the accident could have jarred something in me…causing it to spread.

  How do I go home and explain everything that my doctor just told me? I have cancer. I kept saying it over and over again in the car. I thought if I said it enough that by the time I got home that I could say it without crying. I decided instead of going straight home; I would go to see my sister. I needed a safe place to go, where I could fall apart…just for a minute. I just needed a minute. I kept praying all the way to her apartment…please God…let me have this one minute.

  I barely remember her answering the door. I just remember falling into her. She was confused. She kept touching my face, looking for a new injury. She was talking so fast…I couldn’t answer her. My mouth wouldn’t move. Finally I told her that my doctor said that I have cervical cancer…and I just fell apart. She kept saying NO…over and over again. She was crying so hard; I could no longer determine who was consoling whom. I told her that unless the treatments worked before it started spreading further…I might die. And she mustered up all of this strength and told me that wasn’t going to happen. She said she wasn’t strong enough to live without me, so there was no way that God would ever take me first. It wouldn’t be until this past year that I understood the truth of her statement, when she died unexpectedly.

  She was an angel to me in that moment. She went with me to tell my mom and the rest of my family and friends. It was no longer me having cancer, but us having it. During the entire ordeal, her faith and strength never waivered; she continued to be the glue that kept me together. I would end up having several rounds of radiation treatments. It would spread into my uterus before it finally went into remission for good.

 

  I wanted to share that experience with you, not to be entertaining…but to show you how God has led me to this place. I have always known that God will use me to shine light on issues…and hopefully we can all grow from it. Our Creator has a divine plan for us all and He uses experiences and circumstances as tools to guide us…and if we are paying close attention we can use those experiences to help one another.

 

  I wish you all peace and pray that you will continue to love one another…as God loves you.

Everyone’s Fight

  January is Cervical Cancer Awareness month. I posted a blog in October 2011 concerning my own personal journey with this disease that I wanted to repost today. I am writing a more detailed account of my journey, but wanted to remind everyone that the Cancer struggle truly is everyone’s fight. I hope you enjoy the post…Peace and Blessings to you one and all!!

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Our Battle

 

   One day I found my daughter extremely upset and crying. I asked her what was wrong and said “you lied to me”, and sobbed harder. I asked what it was that she thought I had lied to her about, as I try to be as honest, but gentle, as I can. She said “you told me the cancer was gone, but it isn’t”. I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer a few years prior, but it had since gone into remission. I asked her why she would think that I would lie about it, and she went on to explain that she had found pieces of my hair laying on top of the bathroom trash. I tried to explain that I simply had trimmed my hair that day…but she was crying so hard that she couldn’t hear me. Then she asks me, “Are you getting ready to die”? It took a while for me to get her calm enough for me to even have this discussion with her.

  But the truth was that I had never lost any hair due to cancer or the treatments…she had never seen me in that condition. But she had seen movies and TV shows where the cancer patients had lost their hair and eventually died. It was a lot for her beautiful heart to grasp. I went on to explain the different types of cancer, and told her that my cancer was caught early, and even though treatments made me sick…I was fine now. We had a very basic conversation about the disease, and it would be a few years before we had the detailed conversation, when her mind was more mature.

  The problem was that instead of talking to her about the disease when I was diagnosed, because I didn’t want her to worry about me, I just gave her very generic information. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time but, I was wrong. Because she felt that I didn’t tell her enough…she sought information elsewhere, which in this case was the television…where most individuals with cancer lose all their hair and then they die shortly after.

  Even at her young age, she knew that cancer was a frightening thing. So we had many conversations about it from that point there after. I gave her a new perspective on the illness. I told her I never had to live with cancer…it had to live with me. I didn’t have to fight cancer …it had to fight me. I explained to her that I had this body first and if it wanted to have it ….it would have to fight me for it. This approach gave her strength; she no longer looked at me as a victim. One day I heard her talking to a friend about my health, and she asked if I was a cancer survivor. And she opened her big brown eyes and said NO, my mom did not survive cancer…IT could not survive her!

The cancer didn’t survive us…and she became my own personal army. I would have to endure several rounds of treatments before it actually went into remission for good…but finally it did. But not everyone has a happy ending, sadly.

  We must be aware of our bodies, get regular physicals, and do routine breast exams. We must become proactive in this fight…it has claimed far too many lives already. Until we have a cure, we must look for signs and use precautions…such as using strong sun screen when going into the sun…don’t ignore unusual moles or skin lesions, if you feel something that you didn’t remember being there before…no matter how miniscule…get it checked.

  Contact the American Cancer Society for support or ways that you can help in this cause…it is worth your time. I pray that no one else has to explain to anyone they love about their fight against cancer…but it isn’t going away by itself. Did you know that there is a different cancer awareness month almost every single month out of the year? This is just showing us how very serious this disease is. Over 40,000 people die from breast cancer every year in the United States that is both men and women…so get the facts. For more information please contact:

 

http://www.cancer.org/

 

 

Sweet Warrior

 Although you didn’t realize it I heard you cry

 I know of your pain

And while it may be hard to believe

 I, too, have felt the shame

 

Every blow he has dealt you

I have felt before

And while you may think

You can take no more

 

Please know that you

Are stronger than steel

Even when you are crying

No matter what you may feel

 

His attempt to destroy the light

Within your heart

Has failed miserably every time

 Of that there is no doubt

 

I know you feel alone

Because once I did too

He leaves his weakness

On your face…a bruise

 

I want you to understand

I need you to see

How much you are loved

Starting with me

 

I love your strength

And the resolve on your face

I love the fact that

He can’t keep up with your pace

 

I adore the reminder that with you

God always smiles

And even if it feels like

You haven’t seen it in a while

 

The power behind your smile

In spite of the ongoing pain

Always brings out your sunshine

When he only wants to see rain

 

The sparkle in which

Your eyes always show

Is a constant reminder

Of the love you now know

 

God loves you sweet warrior

Never doubt that fact

I know you feel alone

But no matter where you are at

 

You are being divinely watched over

And his cowardly deeds

Will soon be repaid

With God’s wrath…a fact he should heed

 

Please hold on to this notion

That you are not alone

And you grow stronger

With every punch that is thrown

 

And while I will ask you

 To please find away

To muster up your strength

And quickly walk away

 

Until you are able to break free

Know that you aren’t the only one

And God is watching over you

And His will…soon will be done

And God Cried

And God Cried

 

     I have been thinking a lot about what happened, in the United States, on September 11, 2001. I actually listened to a song that had been re-mixed with a speech given by, then, President Bush. There were also cut INS where reporters were reporting the traumatic event…the shock in their voices spoke in volumes. The song also showcased onlookers screaming and trying to explain what was happening. I heard jets flying low and then a crash into the building…emergency vehicles…and panic in the air. I spent a lot of time recollecting what happened that day. Yes…our World Trade Center was destroyed when Flights 11 and 175 crashed into the towers, killing over 2700 people…another commercial flight, Flight 77, crashed into the Pentagon killing 189 people and Flight 93 crashed into a Pennsylvania field, killing 40 people. That day seemed to go on forever, probably the first time we, as a country, had felt vulnerable since the attack on Pearl Harbor. It felt like my heart was breaking every time I heard it…and yet every time…I couldn’t stop listening. How could this have happened in our own backyard? I listened to our nations President giving a speech, to try and make us, as citizens, feel comforted. Never, in my life, had I ever experienced 102 minutes of terror, until that day.

 I had never experienced anything, in 102 minutes, which would cause so many people…basically good people…to hate. In the Presidents speech he said that the attack was meant to “frighten our nation into chaos and retreat”, and he added “but they have failed”. But, did they fail? Of course, on that day…we tried to comfort each other, but how long did that last? Did they fail to make us start looking at each other differently? Did they fail to cause us to take a closer look at what a REAL AMERICAN looked like, or decide how they should sound? Did they fail to cause us to forget that we were supposed to love each other, even amidst chaos and confusion? Did they fail to cause us to isolate people based on race or religion? Did they fail to bring out the very worst in our nature? I don’t think they failed at all. I think they accomplished what they set out to do. I suppose, it is fair to say that fear was a natural response.  But it did not bring out the “very best in all Americans”, as Mr. Bush stated. It did, however bring out our very lowest in human nature. It was devastating…the loss of almost 3000 lives…friends, neighbors, family…in only 102 minutes. I heard some one say once…God cried on that day. And we all seemed to rally around that thought. It gave us hope, I guess, to think that God was displeased with this despicable act of violence against the United States.

  But it got me to thinking about something else…is God just as displeased with all of the lost lives in Afghanistan and Iraq? Does God shed tears for them also? It can’t be disputed or even denied that given the statistics that are printed in English in those areas that hundreds of thousands of those countries citizens have died in the war in Afghanistan.  I guess it is hard for us to have compassion for those individuals, even though the majorities are civilians, since it is a war that the United States is involved in.

  It saddens me to know that under pressure…we turn our back on people…from all walks of life. I have seen people be extremely caring and loving to people in crisis situations, under many dire circumstances. So it makes me sad to sit and watch those same people place judgment on others. But I have watched it…news reporters, YouTube videos, blogs, music, movies, basically coming from all forms of communication…telling us why we should hate. So, as I often do, I looked into MY reference books…the Bible, Quran and the Torah…looking for information telling me how to hate. I came up with nothing.

  The events on that fateful day in September were awful indications of the state our world is in. But please understand it was a statement; there are people all over this earth…whose daily lives, are exactly like that. It was 102 minutes for the United States, but it can be, and is a lot of the time, all day for other people. Just think about it for a moment…close your eyes, and remember the panic that day…for most Americans, it’s a day we won’t forget. And then imagine that every day is like that. It can be hard to imagine, because we don’t have to see it. Even if we are aware of the situation, a lot of the time if we don’t experience it, we can disconnect from it. After all who really wants to think about starving children in Africa? Who wants to think about millions of people dying as a result of war? To be honest, I don’t even want to think about it; however NOT thinking about it…does not make it go away.

  What if the day the World Trade Center fell…was a way of waking us up to the condition of our world? It isn’t like famine and violence is a new concept. But instead of us becoming aware of the condition of our world…we just started hating…the very citizens of this country. We decided that we could no longer trust any Americans that looked a little different. We began eyeing people that looked Middle Eastern…suspiciously. We no longer felt comfortable around women who covered there heads, out of religious practice. We stopped feeling safe in grocery stores, at ball games, or in places of business…if people spoke with an accent. Instead of being understanding and loving to Gods creatures…we hated them. We made them feel uncomfortable, unwanted. We forgot that these people were our friends, neighbors…our fellow countrymen. Perhaps we should try and define a REAL AMERICAN…because this country is nothing but a melting pot of immigrants. There are millions of people who are considered citizens of this country, and we do not look alike…we all do not have the same faith…we do not dress the same or sound the same. We do not all have the same educational background, or social status. But we are still considered Americans.

  More importantly than any of this…we are supposed to love EVERYONE. I understand that, at times, it is hard to love every single person…but the thing is…THAT is our purpose. We are supposed to reflect God’s love on everyone…there is no amendment to that statement. If we were to constantly treat everyone the way they treat us…chances are we would never stop being at war. But it only takes one person to stand up and say…NO MORE. I know it is not easy to go against the grain, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. If you go to someone with God’s pure love…no matter how they respond…you did what God expected of you. But if we shake fists instead of shaking hands…we are failing God, no question about it.

 Now is the hard part, because you have to choose between love and hate. You have to decide whether you are going to bask in the light of God…or in the ignorance of negativity. If it makes it easier think about it in third person…how would you want someone to treat your children? Remember the children are watching our actions…what do you want them to emulate?

 

 As a small footnote, I am compelled to add a few comments. I love my country. I am not anti-American…however, like it or not…I AM PRO-WORLD. We only have one world…and we are in the unique position to make smart decisions. I know it seems like it is difficult to make a difference in lands so far away, but it really isn’t. We just have to start being loving to everyone we come into contact with. Remember…race, religion, nor geographic locales cause wars…PEOPLE DO.

 You can start today…don’t believe things people say …just because they seem knowledgeable…ask questions. Do research…from many sources, I’m not even asking you to believe me…look it up. Take charge of your minds…and open your hearts. It doesn’t have to be US against THEM…because, guess what? WE are THEM.

 

 

Imagine

 Imagine what it would be like if we could love without borders. We weren’t separated by boundaries, or titles. All of our countries were nameless…our eyes oblivious to colors and hues of one another’s skin tones. The color and textures…styles and length of our hair was just thought of as a way to further beautify ourselves…and not used to identify our differences. Our accents could change depending on who we were speaking to…and every one thought that it was cool to be able to look and sound differently at a moments notice. Wouldn’t it be nice if religions had no control over how we treat each other? Or if we did not use our religions as reasons not to be kind or loving towards one another? Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world that taught its children to love EVERYONE, no matter who they were or what they looked like? Imagine that we never had to live in fear…that we could just love each other openly…without judgment. We could just concentrate on being kind and peaceful towards one another…without any ulterior motives.

 I know this may seem like a crazy fantasy to you…unrealistic. It’s okay for you to say it…often I have been told that my ideas of what mankind is supposed to be is a childish fantasy…something to be laughed at.

  But I have seen children, of different race, creeds and religion…just playing together. Not asking who or what they are…not shying from one or the other out of some unfounded fear. I watched them for hours before…listened to them giggling and swinging, climbing on playground equipment and going down slides, playing jump rope or four-square…doing nothing but being children. It made me think …how can they can do something that their adult counterparts have not learned how to do.

  And at that time a young girl , about 5 years old wearing a blue t-shirt and a pair of blue jean shorts with straight blonde hair pulled back in pony tails tied with blue ribbons came up to me and asked if I could help untangle the jump rope for her and her friend. I, of course, said I would be glad to…and asked which one was her friend. The little bright eyed beauty said the little girl with her hair in braids…the one wearing the red shirt. I told her that I still couldn’t see her…as there were a few children with that description. And she laughed and said…she’s the one wearing the leather sandals and is jumping up and down. It was at that moment I realized everything that I needed to know. The reason these children were able to live in harmony was because they didn’t realize their differences. That little blonde hair girl never once said to me that her friend was the little African-American girl with the braids, or the little Asian girl with the red shirt on…she was just a little girl with her hair in braids with a red shirt and sandals that was so excited about me fixing the jump rope that she kept jumping up and down. And how you might ask were these children able to play in harmony without racial discord, or religious indifference? They were able to do so, not because they were different than many of us were, at that tender age…but because they hadn’t yet realized that society doesn’t want them to love each other. The young minds hadn’t yet experienced hate due to race, religious views or geographic location. They didn’t think anything was wrong with playing with children who spoke with accents unlike their own…and there was even a child there who was unable to speak at all. And yet they still managed to communicate with one another…without frustration or biased views. They didn’t hold one another responsible for their parents not working…or for some terrorist attack…or because they had to go to bed at a certain time. They simply enjoyed each others company. They played and held hands…they chased each other, and if one accidentally fell, the others rushed to help them get up. It was simply not just the most perfect day I had experienced in a while…but it was enlightening. Enlightening because they showed me that the people who tell me that my vision for mankind…was  an unrealistic fantasy; these people had simply not experienced these young highly evolved beings…whose greatest fear was to be called away from play…to go home.

  The beautiful things that we need to know are all around us…we just need to remember to open our eyes…and my hope is that we do it before it is too late.

The Race is On

The Race is On

 

    What do you call it when a police officer can stop a driver of a car, for what ever traffic violation, and ask for verification of legal status in this country? What would you call it if I told you that if that individual didn’t have the documentation on his person, that he could be detained up to 48 hours, until further verification can be made?

 What would you say if I told you that it is not only a violation of the Fourth Amendment to detain anyone for the sole purpose of verifying immigration status, but also has never been required for Americans to even carry Government issued identification at all times.

What if I told you that if you gave a neighbor a ride to Wal-Mart, and got pulled over for a broken tail light, and your neighbor turned out to be an illegal immigrant…that you could charged with a criminal offense of harboring an illegal immigrant and charged up to $20,000 and sentenced up to 5 years in jail? I wonder what would happen if you were a taxi driver, or a greyhound bus driver, given those circumstances.

 What if you were told that as an employer that you had to E-Verify all employees if you have 10 or more, even if in the case of Chamber of Commerce v. Whiting, the Federal Government explicitly told the Supreme Court that the E-Verify program was strictly voluntary, and any state requiring employers to participate is to be preempted by federal law?

  Welcome to Georgia’s Illegal Immigration Enforcement and Reform Act!!!!

   Let’s just call this what it is….RACIAL PROFILING. And now the state of Georgia, just like the state of Arizona has made Racial Profiling a part of their daily life.

 I mean, lets be real, how do I determine who to ask for legal status? What guidelines do I have to tell me who to ask and who not to ask; keeping in mind that it is all going in to a database?

 Racial Profiling is very real, and it is being used to cause further separation of our country from within its own borders. I am sure I don’t need to remind anyone that the United States was never anything but a giant sanctuary for immigrants…and now we are punishing people for doing just that.

 I can not determine if this is more frightening than it is sad, or vice versa. We can not continually stand firmly silent on issues that seriously undermine what this country was built on.

 I have often been told that my ideas of peace and love of my fellow being…is made up of  unrealistic hopes and dreams; but the truth is that is exactly what people come to this country for. Can you remember when this country stood on the premise that anything was possible here, because we live by the standard that we are an extremely diverse and accepting culture? What has happened to us? Why are we allowing the very government we created to dictate to us…and instill in us….fear? We fear what we do not know and instead of reassuring us; our government is infringing up on us…what an American REALLY is or is not.

  We are all diverse…we come from different cultures, societies, religions and beliefs. But when we lose track of the knowledge that WE ARE ONE…we all lose.

 

Please join me in asking President Obama to help put an end to Racial Profiling.

http://www.rightsworkinggroup.org/content/sign-petition-tell-obama-take-action-stop-racial-profiling