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Less


After my sister passed away
I had to deal with more pain
Than I had ever known
Not physical pain…I had become accustomed to that
But REAL heart break
And almost like a 6 year old
I decided I had dealt with enough…
And i just wasn’t equipped enough
Not strong enough
It was too hard
I literally threw a temper tantrum in my mind
But the thing was…
Whether I was ready or not
Whether it made me sad or not
It was here…
I had no choice
I remember talking to her around New Years Eve…
As I often do…since she passed
Telling her….I hate this
I wanted to see her
To touch her face…
And she said to me…while laughing
Have you ever loved anyone that you couldn’t touch?
Of course…everyone has
She said….do u love them less?
Of course not…but this isn’t the same
I want to be able to see you…
She reminded me that the kind of love we have now
Is the first kind of love we ever felt
Its unconditional…
It is not determined by man
Nor his/her physical needs
She said it will always be here for you
You can never undo it
No matter what choices you make…
I will always have my hands on your shoulders
She reminded me of the way I loved most people I know
And this was it…
Completely…without expectation…
I am thankful for those moments…
It reminded me of where i am supposed to be
Not for others…
But for my ancestors…
Love without expectation…
And you will never be disappointed
I miss you Melissa …
But I am not capable of loving you less….

What About Flint?


I wanted to try and explain what is happening in Flint, Michigan…

TWO years ago…Flint decided to change their water supply
from Lake Huron to the Flint River
Which is odd because the Flint River is known as dirty water
What we have to understand is that at one time Flint was
an industrial town dealing with metal.
Almost immediately people started tasting the water
and realized something wasn’t right
The water even looked dirty…almost muddy looking
The pleas of the people there went unheard
A local pediatrician even spoke to the mayor about the problem
BC the towns children’s lead levels were 3 times higher
than what is acceptable…
And their hair was beginning to fall out and they
began developing skin rashes…
Her pleas…also went unheard
And the government even said she was no being truthful
A research team for Virginia Tech visited Flint
And conducted a study from the people’s homes in Flint
Their findings showed that Flint had high levels of iron in the water supply, but what is worse
The lead levels were were at near toxic levels
Flint still disputed the findings…
But the researchers did not stop
And now we all know about what happened there
And while we appreciate the Governor of Michigan apologizing…
Understand this…
There are precautions that should have been taken…
This did NOT have to happen
It would have cost Michigan only $100 a day to prevent this
By adding anti-corrosives into the water…
And while Flints water supply has been diverted back to Lake Huron…
All of the towns pipes are now corroded with rust and lead…
10 people have died so far…
My question is this…
Why is everyone talking about Jada Pinkett and the Oscars?
Why isn’t everyone running full steam about FLINT?

Too Much


You cannot love too much
Often what we confuse for love
Is the expectation that we attach to it
I will love you as long as you do this or that
Or even worse…
I will love you until you do this or that
This,infact, is not love at all
This is possession
And a manipulation tactic that we are taught
True love…real love
Comes without strings or stipulations
It is unconditional
Of course we must all do what is in the best interest
Of our own specific paths…
So unconditional love does not mean
We will always be this or that
But it means that I love you no matter what you choose
It says you will always be good enough
From a divine point of view
Today I would implore you to begin
Yes…let’s start…
Loving ourselves unconditionally
Whether you eat that piece of cake or not
Whether you go to the gym or not
Whether you you break all your New Year Resolutions
Or Not
Just know that YOU are worth a second look
YOU are worth praise
YOU are worthy of unconditional Love
So today…understand that you cannot give anyone too much love
By doing so…it does not run your reservoir dry
You have plenty to go around
Become the love that you are seeking…
Enjoy your day family
I love you always…in All Ways

You Are Never Alone


Love-Hearts-hd-wallpapers-7
Grief is a difficult cycle of life
We will be told that we are sorry for our loss
But really what we lost is just the control of
Our own emotions
Its a transformation of love change
It makes us sad
Because we have forgotten
This is the first type of love ever given to us
Divine love
Love without barriers
Without bars or windows
As humans we may try and facilitate
Physical love…
And that confuses our higher selves
Because our souls realize
That physical love is limiting
It causes us to forget that smells and sounds
Colors and a gentle breeze
Made us smile as infants
Not because we could wrap our tiny fingers around it
But because we understood, at that time
What it was like to be loved from within
For so many of our friends and family members
I wish I could stop the aching in your hearts
I know it too well
And I hope one day you will be able to receive
What I am trying to give to you
Because all the love you were given…
No matter how short their stay here…
Was a seed that they planted
Something that will always connect you
And one day when you are desperately seeking an answer
And one shows up…
Without explanation…
Just know that it was your loved one(s)
Giving you a moment of relief
Love never leaves you
In fact…
From this point forward it can only grow
Just know that you are being watched
From a place that you have been before
But have forgotten
Love knows no boundaries…
And you will never be alone

New Year New You


Love comes from the most unexpected places
Its just FaceBook they will say
They aren’t my REAL friends they will add
They don’t matter…
I have to laugh at that thought
Love surrounds us
Whether it is physically tangible or not
I was reminded of that fact yesterday
Love never leaves us
It flows in and out of our being…every day
It isn’t just Facebook…
Its an opportunity
An opportunity to do better
By being better
So if it is just this or that to you…
Perhaps that is because that is all you want it to be
In which case…welll you get what you emit
To me it is family…
I love the people in my circle
If I found you offensive or malicious
Toward me or my family…
You would know….bc we would no longer be connected here
So January 5th is the start of my New Year
I hope yours is filled with beginnings
The start of a romance…with yourself
Where YOU matter…as much to YOU
As you matter to me
As for my tribe…
‪#‎NineTribe‬
We will roll into the new year…
Doing what we do best
Reminding you…all of you…‪#‎NoMatterWhat‬
You
Are
Not
Alone
I love you all…

Running


You cannot run away
We tell children this all the time
I know I was told that
It took me a long time to listen
I ran from an abuser
I ran from a cheater
I ran from a stigma that claimed
I wasn’t good enough
Too Light
Too Dark
Too thick
Too Skinny
Too Smart
Not Smart enough
I ran…
I ran from a date
A moment in time
A moment that changed my present
I ran from a memory
I ran
And ran
And ran
Until one day I realized
I took all of these things with me
My insecurities
My fear
My battered and tattered heart
Until the day when
I decided…
To be still
And be my OWN blessing
Pat my own back
Love myself…
Because until we learn that
You Alone Are Enough…
We will always be running…
From something…

You Are Perfect


Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah..or none of the above
Whether this was a stellar year
Or if you had unforeseen hardships
If you were healthy
Or you struggled with a chronic illness
This past year was an opportunity
It was a year of growth
A year of gain
2015 was not easy for so many of my friends and family…
Myself included…
But do not allow it to steal your joy…
When we are given the opportunity to grow…
It is a clear sign of how deeply we are and have been loved
Everywhere you look
You will find people whose struggles are a bit different from yours
Let us try and keep those beautiful people in our minds
As we wrap up this most adventurous year
Let us take a moment to pray or meditate
To re-focus our energy on what really matters…
You are still here
That is not an accident…
You are what made someone smile…
You are the foundation of someone’s laughter
Their sign that hope is still alive…
So while our children are unwrapping presents
Or bowing their heads in gratitude
Remember that…
Love knows No Boundaries
It carries no price tag
It looks for no thanks
Or pat on the back
Instead let us look back at 2015 with fondness
And whether it was a lesson or a blessing for you
The fact that you are here with us right now
Makes you a blessing to me and those whom I love
On behalf of my family
My Rays of Light Publishing
and
#Ninetribe
We want to thank you for all that you have become
It has been amazing to watch you grow
So enjoy your holiday
But remember always
That you are perfect…
And We Love You…Always

I’m Not Strong Enough


 

Tromso.-Photo-credits-Bard-Loken-Innovatioin-Norway

In about 3 weeks, on January 4th…
It will be 5 years since my sister left this place.
It always leaves me feeling like she JUST left
Over and over again
And during times when I swear I just want to give up
And believe me there are plenty of those…
I remember having a conversation with her once…
Telling me that I should never make apologies for who or what I am
Never let anyone else’s ideas of who you should be…
Taint who you know that you are
For most people the holidays can be happy times
And for some it is sad and depressing…
For me…
Getting past the holiday season is greeted with the fact
That 5 years ago…just after all the decorations and celebrations were over
That cold early morning call came in to me
Jen, mom won’t wake up
I don’t think she is breathing,,,
There is NOTHING…
NOTHING…
That can prepare you for THAT kind of heartache
She was strong…
The most beautiful kind of strong
And while I, often, quite desperately
Try to recall our millions of conversations
There is only one that tends to stand out…
When I was very ill…
Just waking from a coma
She came to see me…
She grabbed my hand and smiled
Her blue eyes sparkling…
I knew you would be okay
How could you have known that?
I am not strong enough to live without you
God will have to take me first…
And so it was…
Please make the most of your moments
Those that you are certain will be here no matter what
Won’t
Those phone calls you have put off until tomorrow
Those visits to the family that KNOW U LOVE THEM
Make those calls and visits…
There is nothing worse than
A life filled with regret and sorrow
So during this holiday…
Hold your loved ones close
I love you all

Be You


fire-heart-12201460

 

Never apologize for being who you are
There will be those who will not appreciate it
There will be those who fail to understand it
There will be those who need to criticize
Ridicule
Demean
and That is a shame
But that is their issue
Not Yours
You can never be Too Kind
There may be people who take advantage
And that is okay, too
They are only showing you who they are
So you can figure out what you do not need in your life
You can never love too much
But there will be those who aren’t ready for love that deep
Too often we come across people
Whose souls have been broken
And they need time to absorb
The beautiful people that they were meant to become
Make no apology for who you are
And who you become…
As long as you can sleep at night
With your choices that day
You can’t ask for more
Shine on…
For there will be a balance to who you are
The Yin to your Yang
And in that…
All the speed bumps in your life
Will be well worth it…
Be Love…

Gentlemen Can we Talk?


Gentlemen, Can we talk?
Children are our most valuable commodity
We are raising some one else’s Mom and Dad
This is useful information…
Father’s…you have a very large responsibility
The relationship that you create with this child
Will mold him/her into the adults that they will become
Don’t fill their lives with empty spaces or promises not intended to keep
Show him/her how responsible loving men should behave
No matter the relationship that you have with their mother
Remember you are teaching your sons…
How to be Dads…
Showing them how to be strong and yet, tender
You are creating a blueprint for your daughters…
She will look for YOU in every man that she meets…
Be that GOOD man…open and honest…loving and kind
Be the kind of father that they both deserve…
Love your children…give them random hugs and kisses…
Guide them…don’t lead them
Offer them the benefit of your experience and be open to the idea that they may not agree…
Open the floor for discussion
Remember when it’s your way or the highway…
You might be the one hitchhiking.

Peace be yours!

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