Baby Steps

 

  Often we will walk about life; insistent that we are living it to the fullest. Yet our minds are full of suspicions. When will this person or the next do what will, most certainly, disappoint us; unfortunately, the chaos that we are waiting for; can actually be brought forth by our own negative thoughts; a self fulfilling prophecy, so to speak.

  It is good that we are aware that the end is coming; it helps us prepare for those left behind. The end of anything is inevitable, just as surely as there is a beginning, there will be an ending. What is not good for us; is to be so preoccupied with the ending that we fail to enjoy the ride getting there.

  We rarely will go to a movie without asking another person; if they saw it and how it ends. The explanation will make sense; why spend money on a movie if we do not like the outcome?

  It is another reason we may ask other people about the person we are in a relationship with. What is he/she like? Has he/she ever done this or that? To a degree we should know the type of person that we are dealing with; but are we so closely eyeing the end that we are failing to enjoy the moment?

  When people die; we will say that if we only knew this was going to happen, we would have done things differently. We would have had that last loving conversation. We would have said “I love you”; so many more times. People generally do one, of two things; we will constantly eye the ending and fail to live; or we will be oblivious to the end and miss out on what matters.

  If we are constantly watching out for the ending; we can miss the valuable gems in the middle. The destination is really not as important as the paths we cross to get there. But if we are so intently seeking the ending then we will miss the flowers set out for us along the way. The end will come; of that we can be certain. A movie will end; a relationship will end; life most definitely will end. The question now should be; what did we learn or gain from the experience?

  Be aware, there is always something to gain, in all things. Even a relationship that ends will show us something. The problem with this being; we will often think that it was a waste of time and energy. However, if we look deeper into the situation; we might be able to say that we learned something from it; even if we only learned what we do not want or need. We must allow ourselves the experience of the journey, in order to ingest the lessons that were intended for us.

  Do not be so afraid of the end that we become our own executioners. Go into life situations cautiously; but I implore you to still go. Be aware that not all relationships will be the ones that great romantic novels speak about. Be aware that we may never find the romantic lines spoken on the big screen, in our lives. But also be aware that those novels and movies; were created. These moments were staged; the words were well thought out and edited. Our lives are better than that; because our lives are unique. No one else will have ever seen your life before; therefore the experience is one that has never been seen.

  Our lives are like great block buster hits; that no one can spoil the ending to.

  No one wants to be hurt. But we will all be hurt, in one way or another. Allow the hurt to tell you something; let it speak to you. Let the heart break or tears show you exactly what you were being taught all along. Often it is only in our heartbreak that we realize the exact impact that situation had on us. It is a reminder that we were touched by someone or something.

  Think about the effects the ending of a movie has on us. Often we do not feel the love or loss of whatever relationship is developed during the course of a movie; until the very end. The end will make us laugh, cry, or just give us a sense of relief. These feelings and emotions are what will tell us how beautiful the story was. The lumps in our throats, or tears in our eyes are reminding us how we were touched by the sentiment behind the movie. But usually, we don’t cry all the way through the movie; it is the ending that will wrap all of it together for us.

  Loss is hard. No matter how hard it is; there is one fact that will remain, the world will keep spinning. In our sadness and grief, the rest of the world will keep moving. While we must all grieve in our own way; we must all learn to move on in our own way too. Recall the experience, embrace the memories; these are tasks that are harder than they seem. How often does one hear, “go on with your life”; “this is not what he/she would have wanted for you”; we all must move through grief in our own way. It is a definite loss, an absence is felt. These are wounds that run deep; they take time to heal, allow your self that time.

  Whether we are grieving the loss of a relationship, or the loss of a life; the pain is very real. But in the middle of that grief; read, sing, dance, you could even write. All of these things are baby steps which will lead you down your path. Just because someone makes something look easy; does not mean that it is. Every baby step is one closer to the goals set for us; where our heart break is more bearable. Make the steps for yourself and for others…just as this is my baby step for you.

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