The Illusion

 

Often, I think we can take our loved ones for granted. We may even feel or think that we were “due” these relationships. While I cannot imagine what we could do to deserve or earn these crowned accomplishments…it does appear to be the case, even if only in the minds of a select few.

We were gifted moments with our loved ones. We can often become so comfortable with what we appear to have with them, that we forget that these moments were never “given” and were never intended to be permanent. Intentionally or not, we develop a sense of entitlement and this becomes dangerous.

People are not possessions and while we may love them in a very human way; human love comes with stipulations, quite often. Human love is relationship oriented. “I will love you, as long as you don’t…” It is companionship love and can also be a beautiful thing. Anytime we try to grasp something and hold onto it in that way; like most caged birds…it will long to fly away.

When the moments we were gifted become grief…life can begin to look glum. We may become angry and become withdrawn. While this happens often, it is important to try and understand that: Those moments, which have now evolved into memories, are still gifts. You see the fact that the people attached to those moments were ever within our grasp…is a fallacy. Those people, our loved ones who have passed, never belonged to us. They willfully stayed in our lives, for whatever period of time or space. They chose to be a part of our millions and millions of moments, while we are visiting this place.

While we may grow sad or angry that we cannot make more moments with their physical presence; do not allow that bitterness to cause you to turn away from life and the love that is still here for you. The moments that we have been gifted are intended to create a foundation for other relationships. I am often reminded of the very loving nature of our Creator; when I am provided the opportunity to look back at the memories that I have been gifted in my life. As humans, we can become very selfish and want those times, events, relationships to stay just as they are; but just as the world keeps moving…so must we.

We must absorb the love, kindness and joy of these moments and memorialize them in our hearts. And on days when the world seems particularly harsh…we will find that smile from our memory. The smile that we may have taken for granted, years and years ago. And the memory of that archived smile…will lay the foundation for a new smile.

In this way, the people that we grieve…never really leave us. Recently my father in law passed away, and right around the time which he either had just passed or was getting ready to do so…the radio in his van came on while my husband was driving. It didn’t just come on…but it blared so loudly that it shook our insides. Try as he may, my husband was unable to turn that radio down or off…until all of a sudden it turned off all by itself. Now we were told that the radio never worked in the van, but we both experienced it. In our hearts, we know that he was letting us know that we were going to be alright and that he had gone home. We could have made that experience negative, but even after we had learned that he had passed on…the thought of that moment made us smile.

What does all of this mean? It doesn’t mean that we should not miss them or that we shouldn’t grieve. It means that we should appreciate and embrace every moment of every day. I would not wish upon any one the hurt that regret tends to bring. Go to sleep every night with the knowledge that you made the most out of each day; and awake with the thought that today will be better than yesterday. More importantly, do not dwell on all that yesterday wasn’t, or you will bring that same energy into this day.

People that we love will, at one time or another, be called home. Do not allow that knowledge to keep you from opening your heart to that kind of love. When we shield our hearts from pain; we inadvertently shield love from our lives, as well. The most beautiful times in my family occurs when I am sharing the conversations that I had with my grandmother, as a child. It makes my heart feel warm and brilliant. I not only remember her stories and songs, but I can feel her all around me…and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

There are no guarantees in this life. We were only sent here to realize our purpose and to fulfill it. So while we are here…touch as many hearts as you can.

Exhibit what is called Divine Love.

In this, Divine Love is defined as…that without definition. It cannot be contained or denied. Divine love has no opposition…it simply is. Divine love is what our Creator, gives us. There is nothing to compare it to; it is inclusive of all things…which is where we get the idea of “Allness”. Love all day every day…it takes nothing away from you and your rewards are boundless.

If you exhibit Divine Love in all things…regret cannot exist.

And do not be troubled with the idea of hate…hate is bred out of fear. Even fear can be lessened out of existence…when it is surrounded by love and patience.

We must allow ourselves to let go of the things we are not sure of…similar to letting go of the side of the pool, when we are unsure if we trust ourselves enough to swim toward the center. The water that surrounds us is Divine Love…and if you KNOW TRUE love…you will understand that it never varies. Divine Love never wavers, it is constant and consistent. You are never alone, for you are a part of ALL.

When we allow ourselves to open our hearts to this kind of love…we understand that loss…is an illusion.

 

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