The War On Men

 

There is an obvious war going on against men; and the common ammunition that is being used is the degradation of women.

Somehow we have gotten off course, men and women. We spend all of our time pointing fingers and placing blame on one another…and yet seem to have NO clue, as to why our families are broken.

We, as women, can get caught up in the whole, I will never submit to a man, mentality…since we are constantly at war with man.

As women we MUST try and understand and appreciate that there is no weaker sex. We do not have to feel like or be prompted to believe that we have to compete against or with him…at anything. There is no weaker sex…we are physically, emotionally and spiritually different. We have been given different roles. And if it is the roles that are causing the problems…perhaps it is self-loathing that we are talking about and not about men.

Men cannot carry or give birth to a baby. This is one of the most difficult tasks in the natural world to perform. Yet, a woman is the only human that can carry out this task…successfully. Where is the competition? Why is there a need….that has been CREATED in us…to feel like we have to compete?

Man may have a vision for his life, but let there be no mistake…woman makes that possible.

She is the empathetic voice in his ear.

She is the curve of his strong spine.

She is the look he gets in his eyes…when his heart feels full.

We should be less concerned about submitting or being less than a man is…and be content with who we are…REALLY. Let’s not forget, our husbands, and fathers are our guardians and protectors. But the women have the daunting task of being the foundation, from which all successes will be based upon. Woman will teach your children the same lessons that their father will, but from a different angled lens. Fathers may pull out the old “Man Play Book”; but your mom will pull you close to her. She will look into your eyes and through your conversation…she will speak directly to your soul. In harmony, your parents are giving you free will. You could choose your fathers way or your mother’s advice…but really they want you to find your own way. This is what a real family looks like. They are not calling one another by inconsiderate and insulting names. They are looking at one another with care and concern…after all our children are watching us. A family is a unit, it moves and flows together…as one. The problem as I am seeing it is this: we are choosing our partners without asking probing questions…about life, love, spirituality…and a TRUE understanding about who each one is…I mean who they REALLY are. We get so caught up in the thought or idea of finally not being alone…that we give little concern as to WHO…we are no longer being alone…with.

We are human so we make mistakes…and while that is a part of our growth; it is also important to learn from that mistake or error in judgment. We can hardly blame another person for simply being who they are. And as the poet, Maya Angelou tells us, “when someone tells you who they are…believe them.”

In all conversations, I have been a part of, when it comes to degrading women…very rarely do you see anyone taking responsibility. We may get mad at the rap video industry for displaying women, half-dressed. But rarely do we place responsibility on the women who are willfully participating in these videos. It is, in my eyes, difficult to place blame on a man for making that video…when there are women still willing to hold their hands out for that paycheck.

At times we may be made to feel like we are being short changed…but that is only because …as stated earlier, that we are in an invisible competition. It is NOT you against HIM…but there has been a very clear establishment that has helped to create this thought in our minds…especially with women of color. We have all been conditioned…but it isn’t too late to open our eyes.

We must put an end to this war on men…because let us remember that it is also a war on our sons. It is a cycle of hate …and we are in the unique position to change it. Men are not the enemy, but the reality is we do not usually speak the same language.

Often sex to men…just means he got sex…whereas sex to a woman can often mean there is something deeper than what he is saying. And it COULD be that; but not always. When men have sex with women, too often we are speaking a foreign language.

We must think about what he is CLEARLY saying…as opposed to what we THINK he means. We must take time and consideration when we are judging the intentions of others. Truthfully, his only intention may be…to just have sex. But we cannot run away from these types of conversations; just because they may be painful or out of some fear of having our hearts broken.

Often we are in love with the IDEA of being in love. After all, the phrase is falling in love WITH someone. Which means you are in it WITH someone. You cannot be in love WITH someone…alone.

There is a war on man…and the family unit as a whole. After all, if he fails…we all fail. And at this juncture in life, can we afford to keep doing the same things and hoping for a different outcome? Why fly blindly, when the vision is so clear.

We cannot continually keep telling ourselves that there will be a perfect time to tell him all he needs to know. There will never be a perfect time to tell her the things you haven’t found the courage to tell her,

The perfect time is an illusion. Sharing your life with someone is risky. So it really comes down to how much you care about that person and that relationship.

And keep this in the back of your mind: if he/she is unable to understand what you are going through, perhaps they aren’t the right one for you. OR, perhaps you just dropped that BOMB on her/him, and they are just needing time to absorb and organize the thoughts.

Either way we are talking about patience, consideration, and divine love.

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