Some days are harder than others
Some days the guilt of my existence
Is just overwhelming
Some days I think of her and smile
I imagine those blue eyes
Laughing when people have warred against me
Sometimes I can still see that blonde hair
Making me envious…lol
Sometimes I still smell her perfume
Some days I can still hear her words ringing in my ears
“I’m not strong enough to live without you…so God will have to take me first ”
Sometimes…I get so angry
At her self prophetic demise
She only had one fear
“I’m afraid one day I will fall asleep and never wake up ”
And one day…
She didn’t
And now all I can do
Is hope when she looks down on me
She is proud…
Of the woman I have become
Of the choices I have made
But I swear…
Missing her…
Is more painful
Than Lupus or Cancer
Bc I have survived those
But everyday
I get up
And I thank her
By living
By trying
By loving…all people
Bc sometimes…
Everyone needs that
I know I do

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