Tromso.-Photo-credits-Bard-Loken-Innovatioin-Norway

In about 3 weeks, on January 4th…
It will be 5 years since my sister left this place.
It always leaves me feeling like she JUST left
Over and over again
And during times when I swear I just want to give up
And believe me there are plenty of those…
I remember having a conversation with her once…
Telling me that I should never make apologies for who or what I am
Never let anyone else’s ideas of who you should be…
Taint who you know that you are
For most people the holidays can be happy times
And for some it is sad and depressing…
For me…
Getting past the holiday season is greeted with the fact
That 5 years ago…just after all the decorations and celebrations were over
That cold early morning call came in to me
Jen, mom won’t wake up
I don’t think she is breathing,,,
There is NOTHING…
NOTHING…
That can prepare you for THAT kind of heartache
She was strong…
The most beautiful kind of strong
And while I, often, quite desperately
Try to recall our millions of conversations
There is only one that tends to stand out…
When I was very ill…
Just waking from a coma
She came to see me…
She grabbed my hand and smiled
Her blue eyes sparkling…
I knew you would be okay
How could you have known that?
I am not strong enough to live without you
God will have to take me first…
And so it was…
Please make the most of your moments
Those that you are certain will be here no matter what
Won’t
Those phone calls you have put off until tomorrow
Those visits to the family that KNOW U LOVE THEM
Make those calls and visits…
There is nothing worse than
A life filled with regret and sorrow
So during this holiday…
Hold your loved ones close
I love you all
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