Tag Archive: abuse


Running


You cannot run away
We tell children this all the time
I know I was told that
It took me a long time to listen
I ran from an abuser
I ran from a cheater
I ran from a stigma that claimed
I wasn’t good enough
Too Light
Too Dark
Too thick
Too Skinny
Too Smart
Not Smart enough
I ran…
I ran from a date
A moment in time
A moment that changed my present
I ran from a memory
I ran
And ran
And ran
Until one day I realized
I took all of these things with me
My insecurities
My fear
My battered and tattered heart
Until the day when
I decided…
To be still
And be my OWN blessing
Pat my own back
Love myself…
Because until we learn that
You Alone Are Enough…
We will always be running…
From something…

Final Cover

Domestic Violence is a painful reality to too many people, both male and female alike. When constructing this book and gathering the very special women that stepped up, with no thought about, themselves or their personal gain; we tried to keep in mind that this is NOT just literature. Yes, unfortunately, in too many cases…this is reality. We must remember that we are all one. One part of creation; and we must find a way to live harmoniously. This book was not easy to write, there are so many ghosts hidden within the words. But we would be remiss, if we didn’t also recognize the love and kindness that is also written within each line.
We, of course, want to dedicate this book to our families; they have given us so many gifts…just in having had the pleasure of loving them. We hope that you all know how very much you mean to us. To our loved ones, who are watching down on us…we hope you are as pleased with this venture, as we all are.
To Her: We are sorry. We are sorry that you had to endure the pain, which most only read about. Know that every page written, has been about how very much we love you. And during those moments. When your mind takes you to that place of isolation…we hope you realize:
You
Are
Not
Alone

You Matter


You Matter

You matter

To the hundredth degree

You matter to you

And also to me

Your life in itself

Is an unrealized dream

You give life and love

To people not yet seen

You matter I tell you

Every breath that you take

Is encouragement to another

And the decisions they will make

You matter because simply

I have been there too

Lost, lonely, abandoned

Sometimes battered and bruised

You matter to me because

You will give someone else hope

Sometimes that’s all it takes

To remove a neck from the rope

You matter because today

Someone will here your tale

About how you didn’t give up

How you refused to fail

You matter always because

You survived sometimes brutal pain

If just to walk away and share how

One life is able to sustain

You matter to me my friend

I want to share you with the masses

Encouraging them to step up

Remove the rose colored glasses

Yes, you knew torment

I have felt the same

You are not a statistic

Tell the world your name

Walk ahead and prosper

You were meant for a brighter place

Show them your strength

It’s written all over your face

You matter my love

Because you survived and are here

Furthering my plea

Our Creator is always near

You matter my friend

And I’m so glad that you did

You walked to the head of the class

When others might have hid

You matter like family

I’m so glad that you escaped

And by doing so you helped

Others learn their way

You matter to the world

Because you would not hide away

You did nothing wrong

We’re so glad that you stayed

You matter to us all

So I hand the baton to you

So you can tell another

How much they matter too

~LM Young

My Rays of Light Radio


Recently, My Rays of Light Radio did a show about Domestic Violence.

The show was not just about Domestic Violence, in general terms…but I shared my own person struggle with this terrifying crime.

Violence on any level is inexcusable, but when the people that we love and trust, not only turn their backs…but their souls from us…it can feel devastating.

It was brought to my attention that perhaps I was just using my bout with abuse, to try and collect sympathy. I found this thought…deeply disturbing and I was hurt and angered by words from a stranger.

But please allow me to squash that ill placed thought.

I, nor anyone else, need sympathy. I do ask, however, that we all try to develop some sense of understanding and compassion for the women, children and men that are forced to live like this.
Is there a way out? Usually. But the victim…is often too afraid of the idea, if they were able to get away….what would happen if he found her? Can you imagine the anger and rage that would find an abuser, if his/her only form of entertainment has escaped? Can you imagine being afraid to breathe, for fear of getting caught. What kind of violence would be laid on him/her then? What if they have kids? Who can keep the children safe if the victim cannot keep herself safe and sound?

This is true fear.

Talking about violence, when you are the victim…is necessary. If we keep quiet about this condition, too many people live with, it will continue. I pray that was not the intention of the person who felt the need to extend his/her thoughts my way. Domestic Violence touches one in three women…every day. Women are struck, slapped, punched, kicked, choked, raped, mentally manipulated, financially held prisoner and spiritually depleted. They are yelled at demeaned, demoralized, cursed at, and belittled. This is not a ploy for sympathy…it is simply the truth. This happens every day, to women, children, and men alike.

My Rays of Light Radio Network…will constantly shine light on issues…that thrive in the darkness.
Do I need sympathy, NO. Do I ask for your sympathy? NO.
But I caution you…we wary of your thoughts…for you always get from the universe…all that you put into it.

My Rays of Light Radio Network


How Would You Want To Be Remembered

 

I have been waiting to write about the Ray Rice video. I didn’t want to allow my previous experience to cloud what I needed to say about this situation. Often we can carry our own baggage into other people’s situations and that is unfair. I took the time to give both of them the benefit of the doubt, and decided to focus on what should really matter. So today, I feel confident and comfortable with my thoughts and ideas.

There are dynamics that none of us may understand about Ray Rice and his, now-wife. We don’t know how loving they are now. We do not know if the violence has subsided or if it has escalated. We can only hope that it is something they have addressed and have worked to get past. It is none of my business and I sincerely wish the two of them well.

I think, as parents, we give our children the wrong ideas about violence. We will solidly teach our sons not to hit girls. Some will even tell their sons that they should not hit girls…no matter what! And our daughters will sit by idly and listen. While we may think that we are teaching our sons to be better men…what are we teaching our daughters? Often the biggest lessons we give our children….are those that go unspoken. If we teach our sons that it is not acceptable to hit girls…but teach them that we expect them to defend themselves against other boys…what are we teaching our daughters? Are we creating a war between the sexes? Wouldn’t we be better parents if we armed all of our children with love and the truth…rather than thoughts of retaliation or rage?

As a woman who has endured domestic violence, please know that I am not excusing any abuse at all. The abuse I endured was inexcusable; and I have to admit that after a while…it became a matter of wanting to get him before he got me. I knew that every day my life could have been ended…by the efforts of someone that held no value in life, in general. But we must take a different look at an old problem, we should be teaching ALL of our children that it is not okay to hit ANYONE. Simply because, it isn’t.

It isn’t okay to strike someone, simply because we cannot find effective means of communication; or because the person we are debating or arguing with cannot “get” where we are coming from. If the discussion gets so heated that we “need” to physically offend the other person…it’s time to take that long walk. Give yourself the gift of a break. Allow your soul time to heal your thoughts…because it will. Learn to let go of anything that you cannot control. Instead, worship nature and the beauty that surrounds you. Concentrate on minimizing your breathing process. Allow your heart rate to become normal. Think about the birds singing or the crickets chirping. Listen for the children’s laughter. Feel the rustling of leaves in your heart….remember that you can create the change.

We should teach our children better coping skills. We should teach the value of the time out….not as a punishment, but as a means of realigning ourselves with our souls. Often we allow our ego to override the thoughts our souls have set up for us. Keeping in mind that our souls are here to elevate us and anything less just weighs us down.

Do I think that Ray Rice should have hit, punched or spat on his, then fiancé? NO. I find great offense in the fact that, at least one time in his life, he felt that behavior was okay. I appreciated the televised conference where he took responsibility for his error in judgment. But, unfortunately, often the apology can come too late. An “I’m sorry”, will not matter when there is a funeral being planned. And while this was not the case with Ray Rice…1 in 3 women are battered to the point of death. And 835,000 men are assaulted by their spouses or girlfriends, every year.

It is my hope that we do not take either statistic lightly. It is not funny when men are the victims of domestic violence. There are, most likely, so many unreported cases of men being abused by women. There are many reasons for this. Perhaps he doesn’t want to feel like less than a man. He may not want to be ridiculed by the authorities. I have to think this is a possibility, because I have felt the same way when I reported my abuse. The police and even the police chief sort of brushed it off. I cannot imagine how difficult that would be for a man…and my heart aches for all victims of abuse. It is not and should not be acceptable for men or women to be verbally, emotionally or physically abused…it MUST stop.

We are accountable for our own actions and words. Why would we treat people in a way that we would go to war about…if it were our children we were talking about?

Well, I have great news, because we are talking about our children. Our children are assaulting one another and we have the power to make changes. We should treat everyone in such a way that we would want to be treated.

Encourage our children to speak verbally…and that does not mean to verbally assault one another. It means to learn to communicate, in a loving and thoughtful way. Will this always work? Probably not, but isn’t it at least worth the consideration? Our children are killing one another. They are maiming one another’s souls…with their vile verbiage.

Lastly, allow me to say this: we are in a unique position to change things. We can begin to heal the damage that was done…but it cannot be done by carrying around the weight of thoughtless and careless people. We must step up and continue being the blueprint that others can follow. Be mindful of our thoughts and decisions. And before hitting another person…for whatever reason….be sure that we are prepared for the reaction and response to that decision.

Let us learn from the video of Ray Rice, if the actions of our lives were played out on video for the entire world to criticize and ridicule…would we be proud of our actions and reactions?

Live each day as if it is your last…how would you want to be remembered?

 

Join My Rays of Light Radio Tuesday Night at 10pm EST as we talk about this important issue

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mrol/2014/09/17/why-does-he-stay

Why Didn’t She Leave


Why Didn’t She Leave

Why didn’t she leave

The topic of conversation

Did you REALLY want to go

Verbal annihilation

Why didn’t she run

Why didn’t she call out

Why didn’t she tell

Unheard screams and shouts

Could it really be that bad

Was she really getting beat

What happens when the assault

Becomes her only retreat

What did she do to him

He seems not THAT type at all

Maybe her bumps and bruises

Were from an accident or fall

Maybe she is making too much

I mean all couples squabble

We don’t want to get involved

And make HIM feel awful

Wait…someone shouted

What are you saying

Her soul is the debt

Her body is re-paying

Why didn’t she leave

A negative connotation

What is happening to us

Our friends…cities…nations

Why didn’t she leave

Maybe because she knows

Her fear…it is real

And every day it grows

So maybe today instead

Of pointing fingers and blame

We can spare her the judgment

Casting unnecessary shame

How can I help you

Is there someone I can call

Making “Why didn’t you leave”

Something we don’t say at all

                          ~LM Young

 My Rays of Light Radio

If


If

If she tells you how he hurts her

Know that it is true

When you ask why she doesn’t tell

Remember she is turning to you

If you say it can’t be THAT bad

Or she wouldn’t ever stay

Know the dangers of judging

Don’t look at her that way

If she says that he hit her

Understand the sugar coating words

If you knew the extent of the truth

You would find it most absurd

Could you even fathom a life

Where hope is led astray

A life that once shined

Now is spent being afraid

If you are too busy discounting

Making excuses placing blame

You leave her abandoned

In her abuse induced shame

If you criticize her choices

As if you could do it better

You may push her over that cliff

Where she is lost forever

Wouldn’t it be worth the risk

In case she was lying

Than to forsake her safety

So many women are dying

If she comes to you for help

Know that it took all she had

It places her safety at risk

He could get angry, violent and mad

If for just a moment

You could wear her battle scars

You too would pray for relief

When you look up at the stars

You would have a deeper understanding

Of how she prays to not wake

Your reaction to her cries

All the difference it could make

The statistics are minimal

The pain of abuse is far reaching

Our children are watching

What ideas are we teaching

Reach out for her heart

I know this life too well

Extend a loving heart

Where God…always dwells

If you want to make a difference

Open your heart…lend an ear

She needs compassion…hope

While she lives in such fear

Women are abused daily

So listen closely to this

Please don’t waste time

On the judgmental ‘IF”


Love Has No Fear

Her life is unspoken

She has survived much

There are reasons why

She flinches at your touch

Be cautious I implore you

When seeking her understanding

Be sure to try and not judge

A life which is most demanding

Her scars are running deep

Her pain is devastating

Bruising goes deeper than skin

On thin ice she is skating

If she gathered her courage

Sucked up the fear

To reach out for help

As she wipes away a tear

Please do not judge her

Or the decisions she made

Don’t ask what she did to him

Or ask why it is she stayed

All she needs at this point

When all others are a dead end

Is someone to say…I’m sorry

An understanding friend

Remember your worst moments

Is her every minute of the day

No one to turn to for support

Always being pushed away

Be the life raft when needed

Be the calmer of the storm

Be the being you were intended

To be since you were born

Her life isn’t alien

It could happen to you

When your world crashes

And you don’t know what to do

Judge not my friends and neighbors

She represents us all

Life has a way of dropping us

When we’re standing too tall

She did not ask for the violence

And this domestic assault

This is not a lovers spat

IT IS NOT HER FAULT

See past what we are spoon fed

Look beyond the pointing finger

Criticisms of her life is where

Hate tends to linger

Embrace her with all you have

Remind her…I am here

Walk her down God’s path

Where love has no fear

**Check out further writing at our website www.myraysoflight.com


Love Has No Fear

Her life is unspoken

She has survived much

There are reasons why

She flinches at your touch

Be cautious I implore you

When seeking her understanding

Be sure to try and not judge

A life which is most demanding

Her scars are running deep

Her pain is devastating

Bruising goes deeper than skin

On thin ice she is skating

If she gathered her courage

Sucked up the fear

To reach out for help

As she wipes away a tear

Please do not judge her

Or the decisions she made

Don’t ask what she did to him

Or ask why it is she stayed

All she needs at this point

When all others are a dead end

Is someone to say…I’m sorry

An understanding friend

Remember your worst moments

Is her every minute of the day

No one to turn to for support

Always being pushed away

Be the life raft when needed

Be the calmer of the storm

Be the being you were intended

To be since you were born

Her life isn’t alien

It could happen to you

When your world crashes

And you don’t know what to do

Judge not my friends and neighbors

She represents us all

Life has a way of dropping us

When we’re standing too tall

She did not ask for the violence

And this domestic assault

This is not a lovers spat

IT IS NOT HER FAULT

See past what we are spoon fed

Look beyond the pointing finger

Criticisms of her life is where

Hate tends to linger

Embrace her with all you have

Remind her…I am here

Walk her down God’s path

Where love has no fear

Warrior


WARRIOR

Yes I have a story
And while not easy to tell
It must be told for
It describes living Hell

I know true agony
I know pain and fear
I have had hopes squashed
Real evil has been near

I have lived with terror
I have felt real horror
But I stand here now
For I am…a Warrior

I am a child of a Creator
Who knows no limit or bound
I have no know knowledge of mans
Ideals…laughing at his so called grounds

I have known illness true
It has stolen my breath
But never…never my spirit
I will fight til the death

I may be weakened some
My resistence faltered about
But my strength comes from a Source
Of that I have no doubt

Try my body and my mind
As God said that you may
But I won’t volunteer my soul
Never…not today

While adversity tests me…yes
I answer with a loving smile
For I stand with and beside
My Father…as His Child

So while I yes I have been tested
In fact knocking on deaths door
Adversity should fear my strength
For I am…I am….a Warrior