Tag Archive: anger


Rape


***I am not trying to trigger anyone….

I have been on a few posts about Rape…
There is a very naive part of myself which says…
Everyone knows that rape is a crime…
But what has been demonstrated to me is much more harsh
Rape is not an instance…
It does not just happen
You were selected
Hunted…often
It was narrowed down…
That YOU
Yes YOU
Do not get a choice…
Rape is agonizing
It can destroy your soul
It can create wide awake nightmares
You hear sounds from behind a bush
You hear hushed voices down an isolated alley
You hear your inner voice screaming
PLEASE PLEASE…STOP
It is not just 20 minutes in time, you see
Its every moment in every day that will come thereafter
It is not how many drinks
Or how many times she said no
It is not that sexy dress
Or those “She asked for it stilettos”
Because you see…
Once you become another persons PREY…
You will begin second guessing yourself
Did I say NO loud and often enough?
Did I REALLY want sex?
Was I teasing him?
DID I ASK FOR IT??????

Understand my good friends and family…
Rape never stops…
It is never a single act…
It is a train wreck that happens over and over again…
So until we STOP blaming the survivors….
Be they grown men and women or children…
We will always ONLY be representing the CRIMINALS

Please today…choose to do something different…

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Rape Is Never Okay


Rape is Never Okay

Asked to High School kids

When is rape okay

The answers that I found

Left my heart in dismay

If she drinks too much

If he dated her a lot

If at first she said yes

Then later decided not

If he was so sexually charged

He couldn’t stop proceeding

Rape is never okay

What evil are we breeding?

If she had sex with another

If she was drunk or high

Our kids say it’s okay

Shouldn’t we wonder why?

We make excuses for the rapist

She must have done something wrong

She must have been a worthless tease

Methodically turning him on

Now she cries rape?

And is blaming that poor guy

He is a victim…just ask the courts

Still don’t wonder why?

Why does it go unreported?

Why don’t more get arrested?

Maybe we should take a closer look

Let’s get a little more invested

She will be placed on trial

Why were you out so late

Why did you wear THAT dress

Oh…he was your date?

Laughter under the breath

Allegations of immoral acts

Not talking about…what ifs

I only deal with the facts

She will be dissected

His intention never posed

What about justice?

That book is now closed

What is the lesson I am teaching

What reality are we facing

The time to save humanity…short

Our life clocks are racing

Talk to your children

Don’t stop until they REALLY understand

Sex is about intimacy

Not something they should demand

Children learn from us

Place respect in their vision

So when these situations arise

They make the right decision

Rape isn’t an occurrence

That feeling never goes astray

It hurts and sometimes kills

Not a game that is played

It isn’t a decision to be made

It isn’t about a relationship on fire

It isn’t about her changing her mind

Or your uncontrollable desire

Rape is about violence

Nothing more nothing less

If we think it is okay

We are not doing our best

Protect the victims yet to be had

Protect the minds of our young

And protect the future

Lives of those who’ve just begun

It’s alright to say no

Anytime…anyway

Next time you’ll know

Rape is never…ever okay

 


I Will Survive

Dear John Smith
This letter is overdue
Don’t let the anonymity fool
I’m not protecting you

I am in fact freeing me
By telling your story loud
I’m tired of living in fear
And getting lost in a crowd

You are just a simple number
There are many…evil as you
Who steal a woman’s hope and joy
While robbing her virtue

You should be ashamed
But you never behaved as such
You scarred my inner self
Making me quiver to a loving touch

You made me afraid of life
You made me afraid of me
You made me question myself
Who I used to be

But on this day I tell you
I fear you no more
I’m not afraid of the torture
Or whatever you have in store

You may have taken a piece
Of a special part of me
But I refuse to become you
A blister on humanity

I am my Fathers daughter
I stand tall…head held high
My heart stronger than ever
A tear slips through my sigh

I am sorry I ever gave you
A single bit of power
Taking the life away
From this most beloved flower

I am sorry that you are so sorry
I regret ever taking part
In a relationship so violent
Where you broke more than my heart

But today I am wiser
Today I am aware
You are just a battle wound
To me…you aren’t there

So claim victory if you must
But I will tell you the truth
There is no injury so severe
That God won’t see me through

I am not your possession
I am not ill gotten gains
I survived your Evil ways
And my faith…it remains

So crawl back to your hole
Where true cowardice lights
I am a warrior…forever
And I will survive

But I Love You Anyway


But I Love You Anyway

 

The most difficult lessons we may ever learn, in this life, are the ones that break our hearts. I have personally endured such lessons. I have disappointed people; I have lost people that I love. I, like everyone else, have endured immeasurable grief.

 

When we grieve the death of a loved one, or the death of a relationship; we are not grieving for the one who we lost. We are grieving for ourselves. We are angry, hurt, disappointed and often infuriated; by the fact that; we are left to carry on. We must find a way to keep going; even when our hearts are on fire, with sorrow.

 

Someone I love once told me that when my sister died…it didn’t happen to me. She said that it affected me; and my sorrow was really over the fact that I had to find a way to move on. I didn’t want to believe her; and the fact that she was/is someone who I know wouldn’t hurt me, intentionally; I took the time to listen to her. I was angered by what she said. Of course it happened to me, MY sister died. It was at that point, when she stopped me. She said, “Say that again”. I repeated it was MY sister that died. The point I was trying to emphasize is that she was my sister, not hers; and how dare she say it didn’t happen to me? She said again in the softest voice…she died…you didn’t.

 

Tears started streaming out of my face; seemingly out of nowhere, I saw her point. I had to find the strength to move on; I was left alone to survive. The mere thought of that idea; to this day, makes me cry. I had to decide to move on; I had to decide…every day… to breathe in and out. I found this knowledge disturbing and it hurt. Not that I didn’t want to live; I’m not suicidal. But I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be a part of a world where my sister, my best friend…no longer breathed. I felt abandoned…I felt isolated and I was angry.

 

I felt justified in my anger; no one knew what it was like to love my sister, the way I did. I found a million ways to look at this situation; so that no one could effectively say…I know how you feel. I slowly realized; I created the isolation. People wanted to care; simply because they loved me…and I was hurting.

 

Anger is a funny thing; it can feel so good. Anger can burn longer than any candle you ever light, if we allow it to. Anger can fuel any negative fire that we may come into contact with. Anger will also destroy us.

 

Anger will keep us from forgiving others and it will keep us from being forgiven. Remember what I said in the beginning…everything is a lesson.

 

When we hold on to anger…we are only hurting ourselves. We are blocking our blessings; even when it isn’t our intention.

 

Sometimes I still get angry; when I think about my sister. I will get angry at the mere thought of her leaving me. I have even had conversations about it, with her.

 

But thankfully, I have a most gracious Creator. Even in moments when I feel like I deserve nothing; my Creator shines light on me and says, “But I love you anyway”.

 

We are surrounded by beauty and love; it can be found in everyone and everything.

 

People may say that is just hippy talk; how is a dandelion beauty and love…it is a weed!!

I love these moments. I smile and say, hold out your hands. When empty hands are held out; I will say…using only what is in your hands…make that weed.

 

The beauty and love, even in a dandelion, is the fact that it was created from Greatness. We were all created from Greatness; made to love one another. And when a life cycle ends, on earth, the memories we created with that person…has the miracle of eternal life.

 

There are people on the planet, who were not privileged enough to know my sister. I was blessed by her existence and her memories live through me. People are touched by her; through my writing or speech or actions. Her life truly is eternal.

 

My life was forever changed the day that my sister died. I miss her…every day of my life. There is a void that her death has given me; and I would be lying if I denied that. But it was her time to go Home; and while I don’t think she would have chosen it; she earned it. I know she watches over me now; and I’ m sure she is shaking her head, at times. But the true blessing, is knowing that no matter what I do; which she might not agree with…she will always meet me with an, “But I love you anyway”.

 

And don’t we all deserve those moments?

The Right Choice


The Right Choice

Once upon a time

In an unspoken space

A little girl was touched

In an unmentionable place

No fairy tale heroine

No wishes did come true

She learned the hard way

How the pain…it grew

She cried silent tears

To a parent who didn’t care

She just wanted to be loved

It really wasn’t fair

She should have been safe

Inside the privacy of her home

Instead she lived a life

No one could have known

Sure we suspected at times

That something may be wrong

But our silent objections

Went on far too long

How could we have let her

Be invaded be attacked

No longer an opinion

A publicly known fact

We sat and did nothing

Now we shed a tear

While this angel of peace

Had to live in fear

Shame on the parents

For the sins they would do

Shame on us all

We are guilty too

For it takes a village

To embrace God’s children now

Not sure when it happened

But we forgot that somehow

May God forgive us all

For we failed his lamb for sure

We turned deaf ears to

The crying of the pure

Failure is not an option

Yet we would rather choose to be

Lost than to walk toward

Our own humanity

After all she wasn’t our child

I guess maybe we forgot

We made a divine promise

Now it’s us who’s lost

Join with me please now

Speak out against this thing

That is killing our children

And the innocence they bring

Dare to stand up tall

Let chips fall where they may

And help save a child who

May be killed this way

Be the voice that they need

Be the sword they can’t wield

Be the truth that they seek

When God is our shield

Say I love you to this child

By giving her heart a voice

It is all up to us now

Let’s make the right choice


Thankful Everyday

I huffed in aggrevation
So fed up with my life so far
Maybe people have it worse
Can’t imagine who they are

I sat down on a bench
Along a city dog park
I don’t mind animals
If they didn’t have to bark

There was a man along side of me
He smiled as he sang a tune
I snapped why are you singing
He said the song is for me…my smile is for you

Keep your smile to yourself
I shot backat the nice enough gent
My day has been lousy
My tolerence is spent

But he continued his song
For some reason is was grated
He smiled and added
It’s why I was created

Another creation talk
That’s just what I need
I don’t have time for that
I’m a different breed

That’s what most say he added
Perspective is how we connect
It’s about finding something
You may not expect

What happened to your day
Hope you don’t mind that I ask
But maybe it would help
You need to relax

I shouted…you don’t know me
Don’t pretend that you do
I’m sick of this life
And I’m getting sicker of you

Now…I don’t know what
Made me scream at him so
But he took a deep breath
And slowly let it go

Do you hear that dog barking
He went onward to say
It may seem bothersome
But it’s how he sounds when he plays

He’s not angry about the fact
He walks on all fours
He just knows he feels love
In fact probably wants more

He went on…I love this sky
So beautiful in this way
I interjected the sun isn’t out
The skies are an ugly gray

He laughed at my remark
Oh…you are one of those types
Everything has its place
All must be…just right

Then his voice it got softer
I almost a whisper I found
It felt kind of strange
I started looking around

Let me tell you a secret he said
With not so much finesse
You think you have it bad
But people are happy with less

Be thankful for your gifts
But before he got to finish
I said you don’t know my probllems
I have a long long list

I’m sure you do he replied
Most who have…do
We could all create that list
I could make one too

But would it really matter
When all is said and through
Would it make you happy if I
Was as bitter as you

The truth my dear child
He said as he stood up
There have been times when I
Thought I had enough

Then he unfolded a stick
Dark glasses he put on his face
I hadn’t remembered feeling so bad
I felt so out of place

He looked and still smiled
I haven’t seen in a while
I developed a strange illness
When I was just a child

Problems you may have….it’s true
I know why you feel that way
But give thanks because you
Woke up again today

You saw the sun rise
Can probably watch it set
But if I was bitter about that
What would I really get

So instead I sing a song
And smile to places unknown
In hopes my Creator will be pleased
For compassion i have shown

So next time you start complaining
About this and/or that
Forget what you want
Be thankful for what you have

Peace and blessings he said
He meant it from the top
I wish you much love and joy
I swear i never forgot

I hope you enjoted my story
Of how God always finds a way
To remind us in all things
To be thankful everday

Tear Drop


Tear Drop

Everything must become

What it is now supposed to be

Like taking the caged bird

Finally setting it free

It is often hard to let it go

Used to seeing it every day

But even the beautiful bird

Has its own path…its own way

Even if it causes us sorrow

Even if gives us great pain

Everything must become what it is

Not about personal gain

Relationships will alter

Something yet to be known

One day we will all look back

At how we have finally grown

A tear will begin to finally dry

A broken heart will make it through

Even if we thought they wouldn’t

We have love yet to bloom

We have inside every heart

The seed of uncultivated grace

With evolution we learn to spread

It among the human race

We fear what we do not understand

But our understanding should be clear

When holding on to the wings of love

We have never had anything to fear

You are not different than me

Even we look nothing alike

For we were created from the same

Beautiful image…amazing light

The difference we think we have

Were created by man made hate

It has nothing do to with who we are

Look at the negative things we create

We teach our children to be indifferent

We show them by our actions

No wonder they are so violent

Always seeking material satisfaction

Like teaching someone to be a lion

And expecting them to be like a deer

Why do we cause such confusion

What is really happening here

We say one thing daily

While choosing to do another

Saying be kind to our neighbors

While killing our sisters and brothers

And we wonder why our children

Are confused about their place

We have bred hate and indifference

In a most precious place

We are responsible…forever

We distribute evil of the mind

While forgetting our true course

We destroy all of mankind

The victor is who is left standing…REALLY?

Who ever told us that lie

Putting man against man

Only the strong will survive?

Strength of the body is not real

In fact, it is not even here

Or else why would talk to the dead

When their body is nowhere near

It is only the heart and soul

Which matters in this place

Even when you feel the light of a smile

It’s through our Creators Grace

Let go of the inconsistencies’

Hold on only to this one last thing

It is not what others do for you

But the love that you, yourself bring

So point not your finger in anger

Instead acknowledge beauty all around

Teach your children of your mistakes

And the love you have found

For love will make you complete

It will mend bridges…tear down walls

Please make a change now

Before another tear drop falls

 

Baby Steps


Baby Steps

 

  Often we will walk about life; insistent that we are living it to the fullest. Yet our minds are full of suspicions. When will this person or the next do what will, most certainly, disappoint us; unfortunately, the chaos that we are waiting for; can actually be brought forth by our own negative thoughts; a self fulfilling prophecy, so to speak.

  It is good that we are aware that the end is coming; it helps us prepare for those left behind. The end of anything is inevitable, just as surely as there is a beginning, there will be an ending. What is not good for us; is to be so preoccupied with the ending that we fail to enjoy the ride getting there.

  We rarely will go to a movie without asking another person; if they saw it and how it ends. The explanation will make sense; why spend money on a movie if we do not like the outcome?

  It is another reason we may ask other people about the person we are in a relationship with. What is he/she like? Has he/she ever done this or that? To a degree we should know the type of person that we are dealing with; but are we so closely eyeing the end that we are failing to enjoy the moment?

  When people die; we will say that if we only knew this was going to happen, we would have done things differently. We would have had that last loving conversation. We would have said “I love you”; so many more times. People generally do one, of two things; we will constantly eye the ending and fail to live; or we will be oblivious to the end and miss out on what matters.

  If we are constantly watching out for the ending; we can miss the valuable gems in the middle. The destination is really not as important as the paths we cross to get there. But if we are so intently seeking the ending then we will miss the flowers set out for us along the way. The end will come; of that we can be certain. A movie will end; a relationship will end; life most definitely will end. The question now should be; what did we learn or gain from the experience?

  Be aware, there is always something to gain, in all things. Even a relationship that ends will show us something. The problem with this being; we will often think that it was a waste of time and energy. However, if we look deeper into the situation; we might be able to say that we learned something from it; even if we only learned what we do not want or need. We must allow ourselves the experience of the journey, in order to ingest the lessons that were intended for us.

  Do not be so afraid of the end that we become our own executioners. Go into life situations cautiously; but I implore you to still go. Be aware that not all relationships will be the ones that great romantic novels speak about. Be aware that we may never find the romantic lines spoken on the big screen, in our lives. But also be aware that those novels and movies; were created. These moments were staged; the words were well thought out and edited. Our lives are better than that; because our lives are unique. No one else will have ever seen your life before; therefore the experience is one that has never been seen.

  Our lives are like great block buster hits; that no one can spoil the ending to.

  No one wants to be hurt. But we will all be hurt, in one way or another. Allow the hurt to tell you something; let it speak to you. Let the heart break or tears show you exactly what you were being taught all along. Often it is only in our heartbreak that we realize the exact impact that situation had on us. It is a reminder that we were touched by someone or something.

  Think about the effects the ending of a movie has on us. Often we do not feel the love or loss of whatever relationship is developed during the course of a movie; until the very end. The end will make us laugh, cry, or just give us a sense of relief. These feelings and emotions are what will tell us how beautiful the story was. The lumps in our throats, or tears in our eyes are reminding us how we were touched by the sentiment behind the movie. But usually, we don’t cry all the way through the movie; it is the ending that will wrap all of it together for us.

  Loss is hard. No matter how hard it is; there is one fact that will remain, the world will keep spinning. In our sadness and grief, the rest of the world will keep moving. While we must all grieve in our own way; we must all learn to move on in our own way too. Recall the experience, embrace the memories; these are tasks that are harder than they seem. How often does one hear, “go on with your life”; “this is not what he/she would have wanted for you”; we all must move through grief in our own way. It is a definite loss, an absence is felt. These are wounds that run deep; they take time to heal, allow your self that time.

  Whether we are grieving the loss of a relationship, or the loss of a life; the pain is very real. But in the middle of that grief; read, sing, dance, you could even write. All of these things are baby steps which will lead you down your path. Just because someone makes something look easy; does not mean that it is. Every baby step is one closer to the goals set for us; where our heart break is more bearable. Make the steps for yourself and for others…just as this is my baby step for you.

The Stranger


The Stranger

The man stared at me

Right into my eyes

Saying…you are smiling

I wanna know why

I look shocked and amazed

Did something happen today

He said, no, but why

Must you smile in this way

Why is your glass half full

Your cup running over its rim

Claiming life is so bright

When we both know it is grim

He was obviously angry

His jaw clinched tight

I offered him some water

Sir, are you alright?

Yes, I’m fine he stated

I’m just sick of this chatter

About love and peace

None of that even matters

I looked into his angry face

His eyes seemed so sad

His journey seemed so long

A hard life he had

I gently touched his hand

Squeezing ever so slight

I don’t know what happened sir

But everything will be alright

He looked at me half witted

You know nothing about me

No, but I can feel your pain

It’s easy to see

Anytime we hold on to anger

With such force

It’s due to great pain

I don’t know you of course

But I have a grandfather

And I would pray every day

That if someone saw him

In pain this way

They would softly remind him

How blessed the world has been

To have the benefit of his life

Which makes us all win

The mans eyes grew teary

Saying his load had grown tiring

I smiled and said yes, I know

All the while love was transpiring

I reminded him that even I

Was touched by his being

It wasn’t about my smile

Or the song I was singing

God sent me to you sir

For I know on this day

You needed an angel

Saying everything is okay

He squeezed my hand back

A weight lifted off of him

The sadness disappeared

He started to grin

I never knew what happened

To cause his sadness and tears

But I became filled with divine love

As I watched it disappear

This day I was reminded of what

I was selected to do

To constantly show strangers

God loves them too

Sweet Warrior


 Although you didn’t realize it I heard you cry

 I know of your pain

And while it may be hard to believe

 I, too, have felt the shame

 

Every blow he has dealt you

I have felt before

And while you may think

You can take no more

 

Please know that you

Are stronger than steel

Even when you are crying

No matter what you may feel

 

His attempt to destroy the light

Within your heart

Has failed miserably every time

 Of that there is no doubt

 

I know you feel alone

Because once I did too

He leaves his weakness

On your face…a bruise

 

I want you to understand

I need you to see

How much you are loved

Starting with me

 

I love your strength

And the resolve on your face

I love the fact that

He can’t keep up with your pace

 

I adore the reminder that with you

God always smiles

And even if it feels like

You haven’t seen it in a while

 

The power behind your smile

In spite of the ongoing pain

Always brings out your sunshine

When he only wants to see rain

 

The sparkle in which

Your eyes always show

Is a constant reminder

Of the love you now know

 

God loves you sweet warrior

Never doubt that fact

I know you feel alone

But no matter where you are at

 

You are being divinely watched over

And his cowardly deeds

Will soon be repaid

With God’s wrath…a fact he should heed

 

Please hold on to this notion

That you are not alone

And you grow stronger

With every punch that is thrown

 

And while I will ask you

 To please find away

To muster up your strength

And quickly walk away

 

Until you are able to break free

Know that you aren’t the only one

And God is watching over you

And His will…soon will be done

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