Tag Archive: crime

The Hardest Things

The Hardest Things


I think one of the hardest things that I ever have done; was to share my real life with you. It can be a frightening thing…to be who you really are…with people you don’t really know.

And truthfully, I have no way to know who will try and cause me harm. But what I do know is this…it is worth the risk. Reaching out to each and every one of you, is worth the risk that I may be wrong.

The most important lesson I have ever learned…is that it is better to love…always. For when your soul, your being, is filled with love…there is no way to lose.

You all have supported and loved me…as long as I have been writing here. And today I wanted to share something new.

Today I have no stitches in need of healing, no tubes coming out of my body, I am no longer using a walker, I am not reaching for a pain pill…today is what made all those days…worthwhile. Days like today…are my reason for waking up every day. And I wanted to share this drama free day with you…so you will know…there is always hope.

I was diagnosed with cancer, diabetes, and Lupus. I have suffered 4 strokes and multiple mini strokes or TIA’s. I have been placed on life support….with my doctors telling my family that after 2 months in a coma…there was no hope of a recovery. YET….I am still here. If I can beat unspeakable odds…can’t we all? Can’t we all be that smile which lights up the universe? Can’t we all give our children our hopes and dreams…without splashing water on their flames?

Never give up on life; it hasn’t given up on you. Sometimes what happens is so simple…we have our own ideas about what life should be about and what we want for ourselves. I ask this of you, allow the energy to guide you. We, often, get so wrapped up in what we want for ourselves…that we do not consider what the universe wants for us.

Don’t be disappointed when life turns out slightly different than what you had planned on. Instead, embrace all of your struggles and challenges. I know some of them are more difficult than others, but know that you still have what it takes to WIN!!

Today I am thankful for all of my medical woes from November 2014…because today…I have no fever, only slight pain, and I am not having to do any superficial healing. I only say this, because our bodies, souls, our hearts are always healing. For all the pain that I have known since last fall, today I am thankful.

I am thankful for all that you all are and all those that you reach out to. I am thankful for my first and last breath of the day. I am thankful to have a most supportive family…and such a beautiful collection of wonderful friends…which we consider family.

As you are closing out your week, give thanks for the unexpected smile you came across …and shine that light upon someone else. While sharing with others can seem to be the hardest thing in the world to do…I promise…it is worth the effort.


I love you

The Cafe

The Cafe

I was sitting quietly

 In a small café

Nothing too fancy

Just out of the way

An older woman sat

Across all alone

Along came a man…

Give me all that you own

The woman was unshaken

And softly smiled

How are you child…

Sit down a while

This angered the stranger

He had a menacing frown

Give me your money

I don’t want to sit down

I will give you all I have

She went on to say

But it won’t change

What led you here today

I know your path has been troubled

You’ve come so far

But listen to my child…

Because I see who you are

I don’t see your money or home

Those things can vary

I see a life made from love

Even if you are wary

I see the little boy

Who still holds out hope

That the troubled man…

On the unsteady slope

Will become the angel

That he was meant to be

It wasn’t chance son…

That brought you to me

Your whole life was planned

To the very last letter

The message I have for you…

May make things better

For any other person

You may have selected

May have given up

Or worse than you expected

But I, dear child,

I see you deeply

One with a good heart…

Who loves uniquely

I see the child in your soul

Crying for relief

I see the beauty in your eyes…

So far from a thief

Sit down my son…

Let me buy you a meal

What I am giving…

You could never steal

I am giving you your freedom

I am handing you your soul

I am feeding a broken heart…

And a life yet untold

I watched his hardened face soften…

A tear I wiped away

When the woman at the table

Spared his soul that day

I watched intently,

As she touched his hand so smooth

And by the end of her meal …

I saw him too

I saw the life filled with obstacles

And tears by the mile

A loving face he had….

Hidden away for a while

But by the time they both left the place

One thing I can decree

IN him she saw GOD…

Just as she saw it in me

Bless the woman for this lesson…

May we all again learn

That from which we came…

We most certainly shall return

We Are All Jane doe

We Are All Jane Doe

A crime often misrepresented

A woman under assault

Society telling her

It must have been her fault

Why did you wear those clothes

Why did you go to that place

What made you drink so much

Verbal assaults can’t be erased

She is the victim/ survivor

She managed to stay strong…be tough

She didn’t realize her protection

Would be treating her so rough

 A tear slides down her cheek

She must have done something wrong

She is cheap, easy…a drunk

She simply doesn’t belong

She stole his bright future

She brought negativity to our town

Never mind the sexual assault

Or when the “hero” threw her down

Never mind that she said no

Or worse…she didn’t say yes

Never mind the invasion made

To get a simple arrest

You are mad her name isn’t displayed

What…her wounds aren’t severe enough

Would your harsh accusations exist

If Jane Doe was someone you loved

Jane I understand it now

I know your pain is real

I too…have been tainted

I sadly know how you feel

The empty hollow feeling

The silent tears you shed

What good is survival

When they wish you were dead

I know the hand slaps you received

Shame on your behavior…you

Shouldn’t have tempted him so

While you ask…what did I do?

The truth …be it told

No matter what anyone will say

She was a victim who survived

And shouldn’t be treated this way

She was robbed of her virtue

And no matter what clothes she wore

Regardless of how late she was out

Whether she drank or she swore

She is a child of God

Protected by his Grace

No one has the right

To steal her sacred place

So my friends I implore you

Stop victimizing her again

She is someone’s daughter

She didn’t deserve this end

Stand up and speak out

Tell everyone one you know

Rape is NEVER okay

And we are ALL Jane Doe





My body does not give permission

Nor allow it to be so

No matter what we are told now


My body is my own

I have no regard for those who

Say I didn’t fight enough

So I must have wanted to

Rape is not a dime store toy

It’s a cruelty beyond words

And anyone who says else

Is simply absurd

I didn’t really fight enough?

My body…mind needs to shut down

Wonder if such statements would be made

If YOUR life was turned upside down

Do you understand the torment

Do you understand the fear

After living with a rape

The last thing we need to hear

If she asked for it

Or she didn’t hit hard enough

She isn’t a victim

Maybe she likes it rough

If it seems I am being unkind

Or if my heart is being twisted

I will tell you I know a God

Who said…no…insisted

I be treated with respect

I am deemed as a Queen

Protected by a Creator

Who understands what I mean

When I say this one more time

NO matter who tells you so

In the instance of RAPE

No means NO

**My poem today is in response to a Superior Court Justice’s remarks about a rape case**



To my readers…rape is a horrendous crime…not to be taken lightly. It takes so much courage to come forth and report this crime…PLEASE do not victimize her twice



I wish you all Peace





Oh Mommy and Daddy how I wish

When you sat down to talk to me

About the dangers of strangers

The things I couldn’t see

If only you had asked me

What do I think of when it comes to mind

Was it someone much darker

Or a face which could be kind

I didn’t see him as a nice man

Asking me to look for his pet

I guess he fooled us all

Even you I would bet

Who knew he was so sneaky

His voice it was so kind

The fact that he was a stranger

It simply slipped my mind

I wish I had known that

He wouldn’t be cloaked and mean

I wish I had pictured something nicer

There was no in between

I wish I had felt it then

When he asked me to help look

He mirrored no image I created

Not an evil man or a crook

He just wanted my help

He made me feel grown

Who could’ve imagined it

Who really would have known

This man I thought was nice

Would be the evil only in books

If only a better picture had been painted

I might have taken a second look

But I only wanted to help him

His tears made me believe

He was missing his puppy

Not something gruesome up his sleeve

Please forgive me Daddy

I didn’t then realize

His kindness toward me

It was only a disguise

The things that he did

The pain that I felt

Would be enough

For your heart to melt

Thankfully God didn’t wait long

Before carrying me home

Don’t worry I was never

Left all alone

So in your grieving moments

Teach other parents too

That strangers to children

Isn’t the same as it is to you

So teach our dear babies

A stranger is not a look which is dark

It could be almost anyone

You may have seen in a park

A stranger to be  simply put is

A person you do not know

Please don’t wait until

A child beyond the grave tells you so

So beware children and teens

The danger is everywhere

Be clear on this subject

I just want to be fair

A stranger took my life today

But it’s not all he took from me

Now it’s up to me and God

To watch my family

I must go for now but please

Let not it be in vain

Because as sure as the world will spin

A child will die again

Another angel taken

Another talk we should have had

Another life forsaken

Making another family mad

Talk openly to your children

Make them aware of the REAL dangers

But be inquisitive about how your child

Pictures this person called stranger

Wide Eyed Girl

Wide Eyed Girl

What did you do

What did you wear

Questions like these

Simply aren’t fair

Did you say no

How loud did you scream

Did you ask for it…

Is what that means

Is it not enough for you

That she felt such intrusion

Questions like these

Jumping to conclusions

When she reaches out for compassion

And is interrogated this way

Is similar to being attacked again

Worse than yesterday

What did she wear…really

What did she do wrong?

She wore survival gear

Thank God she lasted this long

Judge not unless you

Want the same treatment too

No question…yes

I’m talking to you

No one deserves this anguish

And your questions without doubt

Is why this crime happens

It brings this behavior about

As long as society thinks

She did something to deserve

To be taken…beaten…humiliated

Can’t believe the nerve

It doesn’t matter what she wore

It doesn’t matter when she said no

She was never at fault for this

Your inhumanity…beginning to show

NO matter where she was

No matter what she did

She was not at fault

The fault was always his

She trusted the wrong person

That’s a deep line

There are two offenses

Even if only one is a crime

I promise you my lovelies

She has been a victim of her heart

So please stop the insulting jabs

It’s you who is tearing her apart

Dig deep within your soul

Where God will lead you home

It keeps our hearts anew

With more love than you have known

Embrace this child of God

He is watching what you do

Give which would be sought

If this crime happened to you

Shine Divine Light daily

Give praise not assault

When it comes to matters like these

It never was her fault

Give love…be love

No matter who “she” is

We get one chance to show God

This might be it

I know your heart is pure

Your spirit is divine

Tear down the attacking tones

Let your inner light shine

Don’t let the one she reaches for

Be the last straw of her heart

Make a change in your life

Let’s make a brand new start

If she cries out not in silence

Please don’t turn a deaf ear

Your chance to make a difference

It is right here

Let’s work together to repair

This broken down world

So we never have to mourn

Another sweet wide eyed girl

If You Are Listening

If You Are Listening…

 She is always a little reserved; some may say that she is shy. But I have seen this look before, she is not quiet…she is afraid. She only wants to walk through life quietly without conflict or confrontation; not realizing that what she is doing can not be called living at all. She wants friends, but who would understand the way she is forced to live? She can not even confide in the family and friends that she has now…without the threat of bringing the darkness to their doorway, as well.

  How would she live with the fact that someone she loved may be hurt or even killed simply because they stood by her? So she moves silently…careful not to draw unnecessary attention to herself or her life. She flies under the radar, this self-isolating being of God…praying silently that one day this will all end.

She falls to her knees in desperation. “Dear God, if you are listening…please make him stop”. “Please let me fall asleep forever”. But the next day will look very much like this one…he will watch her; even if he doesn’t speak to her. His presence will speak more loudly than words or actions…”I am here”. “I am not going away”. “I am in control”. “I can not be stopped”. “If you tell anyone, I will kill them…and you will know it was your fault”. And at the end of this day, again, she will pray.

  Understand, her story is not as unique as you may think. Most likely you know someone similar to her, as over 1 million women are stalked in the United States every year. And 89% of femicide victims, the misogynous killing of women by men, have been abused and stalked by their killers12 months prior to their murder.

  What these statistics show is that this is an ongoing problem in our nation. One way of bringing this issue into the light is to remind people that stalking…following…pursuing…and tailing people for the purpose of keeping tabs on them…is not a sign or symbol of love and affection. This is a crime. We need to stop placing blame on the victims of this offense and start pointing fingers at the assailant. We have no reason or cause to continually attack the victim by making excuses for the perpetrator. “If she had said no more loudly…”, “If she hadn’t smiled at him…”, “If she hadn’t worn that outfit”…, “If she had told someone”. She was not at fault…and chastising her will not make the situation get better; all we do when we criticize her…is empower the abuser.

  Stalking is a step below assault and murder. It is compulsive, controlling and violent behavior. We must become aware of this problem…by humanizing the women who are under attack. She could be your mother…your sister….she could be your daughter. Raise your hands up; this is not a big boys club. This is not about brotherhood, it is about mankind. Speak up whenever you can, put your foot down…take a stand against misogyny and femicide.

  Begin today, re-evaluate the way we treat the women in our lives. What starts out small can become enormous…and the beauty in that statement is that we can make it better. Create awareness. January 2012 is Stalking Awareness Month; be aware of this problem. There is no age cap on the female victims, embrace our children. Teach our young boys and girls about respect and boundaries. Guide these young minds and hearts…they are looking to you for support and leadership.

  Show love, by expressing your intolerance of abuse. Don’t make the assumption that the behavior is harmless just because no one has been harmed yet. And if you want to get an idea of what this behavior feels like, on the receiving end…try this exercise: Take down all the curtains, blinds and shades from all of your windows in your home. Leave all your doors wide open…including the front and back door, in fact even leave your bathroom door open; How safe and secure do you feel? How does it feel to think that someone may watch you while you are watching television, eating, sleeping, changing clothes, and bathing? Imagine that every day of your life is like this…are you having fun yet?

  We MUST make a change…in ourselves and then in others. Spend today showing love to all of the women in your life. It can be cold living in the shadows shame and doubt…tell her you love her…let the warmth begin with you.

My Prayer

My Prayer


I pray that there

Will never come a day

When I will turn from you

 And walk away


I hope that we learn

From others mistakes

And keep striving forward

No matter how long it takes


I know that we can walk through life

Holding one another’s hands

Never judging or demeaning

Our fellow woman and man


I will open my heart

By closing all doubt

Sharing the love of God

Is what life is all about


Life is so fragile and

Sometimes far too brief

But we can rise above offenses

That are sometimes too steep


We can smile and create laughter

Among our family of God

Giving support and encouragement

With a smile and a nod


Love one another

Why is that too much to ask

When did kindness and peace

Become too much of a task


Cast aside the hate we have grown in our hearts

And realize our second nature is not war

Be kind to each other at any cost

Remember the reason we were brought here for


No executions or state sanctioned deaths

Are acceptable by His rules

Empathy, compassion, and understanding

Not guns …should be our only tools


Once we can embrace the essence of God

And His attributes so divine

There will be no question what we should do

In your heart or even in mine


So I wish you love and inner peace

That with which we were made

Love your fellow neighbor

As you love thy self…is the lesson for today


Pay close attention to the word of God

And not the will of man

Once you do this it will become clear

You will then understand


There is no deed too small

Or no person so meek

Who cannot make a change

To fix a world so bleak


Remember the depths of the largest ocean

Started with a small drop of water…until one day

The skies opened up and God started to shine

And He willed it to begin to rain


It only takes the will of one man

To create the change that we need

One foot in front of the other

Baby steps…begin to follow His heed


Much joy and kindness

May your blessings exceed your sweetest thought

Give thanks daily

And His will be done…not purchased and not bought


I leave you with my final note

My humblest prayer

When your neighbor reaches out for you

I pray that you are there







Stop the Violence

Stop the Violence

  Today is Stop the Violence Day. Even in writing that it seems ridiculous to have to say. As children we are taught, from an early age, to be kind to one another. We have religious books that will tell us to be kind to our neighbors, and to want for our brothers and sisters what we want for ourselves. And since I doubt that anyone wants death and destruction brought upon themselves or those that they love…I doubt we are thinking of it in that way.

  Violence has become a way of life for most of our world. And to support the violent action we are often making excuses for it to continue…both on the domestic and global fronts. We will often hear an abusive person making excuses for his/her behavior stating that they were led to that dark place…often by the victim. When we hear such an outlandish statement, we often shake our heads. And we react in this way because it is juvenile for us to believe that another person could lead us into such violence. After all, we are individuals. We have our own minds and thought patterns. We certainly can not be led astray by another individual…can we? We couldn’t become so angry that we would want to strike someone that could be considered weaker than us, could we? We couldn’t actually hope for people to believe that a child could do something so awful that they would need to be battered or bruised…but do we?

  Tempers flare, but we are responsible for those actions. And if we can not control the actions of our bodies or mouths…we should reach out for help. I learned some startling statistics that I wanted to share with you, so that we could see this problem in black and white.

  1. In South Africa 1300 women are raped everyday
  2. In the United States, 683,000 forcible rapes occur every year
  3. Child abuse is reported every 10 seconds
  4. Every 9 seconds a woman is beaten
  5. 5-6 children will die from complications of abuse every day
  6. Most Rapists commit 10 rapes before they are caught
  7. 4 million women a year are seriously abused every year
  8. 1 in 5 high school girls are sexually or physically abused by a partner


  These statistics, while startling are completely factual. There is nothing worse than being abused. This violence has to stop. We are literally killing each other…every single day.

  No one…has the right to put their hands on another living soul. We do not have eminent domain over another person. People are not property. We can not be held or contained and if we are…it is a violation of our civil rights. It is criminal to make anyone do anything against their will…whether spoken or implied.

  I pray that we use this day as an example of how we are supposed to live. We need to learn to live in harmony, with ourselves and others.

Greatest Love


   I found the greatest loves of my life when I learned how to love people inside out. I learned that the outer shell was only a peek at the person within. Of course, we must be attracted to something, before seeking the inner being…be it a smile, laugh…or just a sense of humor. However in some rare cases, the inner being will shine through the eyes of those that we may have over looked.

  Whatever brought us to this place seems irrelevant…for now all that matters is that we are here…together. Our inner light is that part of us that connects to others on a higher plain. It is our soul or spirit…our core. I have always been of the belief that our center…or core is the very thing that we started with. Our core comes from God; it is the very loving nature He instilled in us. It is the part of us that allows us to connect to others…similar to how magnets attract one another or how light will attract a moth. It is what brings us together…and sometimes, sadly, tears us apart. The core of us is what hurts when we see another human being in pain. It is the part of us that is moved to protect our environment. Our core is what causes 9000 people to search for an 8 year old autistic boy in Virginia…someone that most did not even know. Our center is the part of us that prompts an illegal immigrant to put his life on the line to save a little girl that he didn’t even know…placing his own citizenship at risk. It is the thing within us that has us get our bone marrow checked to see if we can save the life of one person…which can be a painful process. It is doing the right thing…without a second thought. This is our origin…what every other part of us is based on. This is our purpose under Heaven. And as long as we are listening to our center…our core…our spirit and soul…we are doing Gods work.

  So what happens when we are doing everything else? What happens when we watch someone who is broken down on the side of the road and we just drive past? What happens when we hear someone yell for help and we act like we don’t hear them? What are we thinking when we tell socially acceptable lies…and still teach our children the importance of telling the truth? Why do we make excuses for behavior that we know in our hearts to be wrong? What message are we sending when we punish a murderer by becoming murderers? Where are our hearts when we are telling our law enforcement officers to stop worrying about crimes and just look for people who have a “criminal look”?

  These may seem like extreme cases, but are they really? Or do we just say that to take attention away from the real issue? How do we have balance when the scales of our lives are so obviously tilted? Native Americans believe that within us we have two wolves…one wolf is positive…loving…caring and compassionate. The other wolf is negativity…adversity…violence…anger and rage. In some Native American culture it is said that the wolf that we feed or cater to the most becomes the winner of our internal struggle. This is really the old story of good versus evil. The one that we allow to grow…becomes the victor. But the truth is this…God created all things, ideas and situations. Why would God, who loves us, create something that could eventually lead to our downfall? Some believe that the reasoning is this: He allows us to decide what we want for ourselves. He allows us to make our own noose and decide if we are going to hang ourselves or others. He allows us to make friends or enemies. We are allowed to show compassion or contempt. Why are we allowed to even know of a choice which could cause us or others pain or anguish? Because, we know what the right thing to do is…it is in our core. We have been equipped with the only thing we ever really needed to get by…love. We have always been equipped with the love of our Creator…which arms us with the knowledge that we are supposed to love others also.

  Why is doing the wrong thing so easy for most? Doing what is wrong is easy because it is acceptable and most of the time it is expected. We expect people to cheat, steal and lie to us. We expect people to disrespect us or those around us…so we continually watch for it. We look for deception because we really believe that all people will be tempted to deceive. We expect our fellow man…that was created with the same divine love that we were…to do us some huge disservice. Unfortunately, a lot of the time…we aren’t disappointed.

   Of course, we choose to live this way. We choose to allow people to do the opposite of what we know is right; then we they do this evil…we just nod and smile, as if it is okay. We become complacent. We choose to sit the fence, instead of standing up for anything. And in our complacency…we have failed God. We have said so much…by saying nothing. When our hearts are crying, yet our mouths fall silent and our heads hang in shame…we have betrayed ourselves and Our God.

   The important lesson in all of this is that any injustices that we fall upon silent ears about…are injustices that very well may come back around to destroy us, as well. Never say that any given situation could never happen to you or anyone you know. By now we should all understand that just because we think we have stuffed a wrong in a closet doesn’t mean that is goes unnoticed. God brings everything to light.

  It is our job to defend those who are wronged…no matter who the oppressor may be. It is our job to shine light on those who pray on the defenseless. As people we do our best to stand up for children…and since we were all created from God and are His children…why do we not defend our fellow man? Why do we not stomp our feet and scream to the top of our lungs every time someone is treated with malice?

  War does not create anything…it destroys us all. Do the soldiers of war ever come home feeling happy; and if not, why? War only creates the need for larger cemeteries…larger orphanages…and more wars. And by the way, wars are not only fought with guns. Wars happen at the work place, in our schools and in our neighborhoods. A sharp tongue is worse than an assault weapon. Guns are fired and they kill…where as words can continue to injure and re-injure us. And like in a war…once we have been fired upon…we will retaliate…and it won’t matter if it is justifiable or not.

  Peace starts within us…and once we have it we can share it with the world. We only need to nurture the love that we were created with…and then we give it out to everyone we come into contact with. We smile, greet and acknowledge our fellow man and woman…and with those simple gestures…love blooms. Love is never out of season and you can never have or give too much love. It will feel strange at first…but that is just because we are out of practice. Give love…receive love…Be love.

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