Tag Archive: Domestic Violence Awareness



Final Cover

Domestic Violence is a painful reality to too many people, both male and female alike. When constructing this book and gathering the very special women that stepped up, with no thought about, themselves or their personal gain; we tried to keep in mind that this is NOT just literature. Yes, unfortunately, in too many cases…this is reality. We must remember that we are all one. One part of creation; and we must find a way to live harmoniously. This book was not easy to write, there are so many ghosts hidden within the words. But we would be remiss, if we didn’t also recognize the love and kindness that is also written within each line.
We, of course, want to dedicate this book to our families; they have given us so many gifts…just in having had the pleasure of loving them. We hope that you all know how very much you mean to us. To our loved ones, who are watching down on us…we hope you are as pleased with this venture, as we all are.
To Her: We are sorry. We are sorry that you had to endure the pain, which most only read about. Know that every page written, has been about how very much we love you. And during those moments. When your mind takes you to that place of isolation…we hope you realize:
You
Are
Not
Alone

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Recently, My Rays of Light Radio did a show about Domestic Violence.

The show was not just about Domestic Violence, in general terms…but I shared my own person struggle with this terrifying crime.

Violence on any level is inexcusable, but when the people that we love and trust, not only turn their backs…but their souls from us…it can feel devastating.

It was brought to my attention that perhaps I was just using my bout with abuse, to try and collect sympathy. I found this thought…deeply disturbing and I was hurt and angered by words from a stranger.

But please allow me to squash that ill placed thought.

I, nor anyone else, need sympathy. I do ask, however, that we all try to develop some sense of understanding and compassion for the women, children and men that are forced to live like this.
Is there a way out? Usually. But the victim…is often too afraid of the idea, if they were able to get away….what would happen if he found her? Can you imagine the anger and rage that would find an abuser, if his/her only form of entertainment has escaped? Can you imagine being afraid to breathe, for fear of getting caught. What kind of violence would be laid on him/her then? What if they have kids? Who can keep the children safe if the victim cannot keep herself safe and sound?

This is true fear.

Talking about violence, when you are the victim…is necessary. If we keep quiet about this condition, too many people live with, it will continue. I pray that was not the intention of the person who felt the need to extend his/her thoughts my way. Domestic Violence touches one in three women…every day. Women are struck, slapped, punched, kicked, choked, raped, mentally manipulated, financially held prisoner and spiritually depleted. They are yelled at demeaned, demoralized, cursed at, and belittled. This is not a ploy for sympathy…it is simply the truth. This happens every day, to women, children, and men alike.

My Rays of Light Radio Network…will constantly shine light on issues…that thrive in the darkness.
Do I need sympathy, NO. Do I ask for your sympathy? NO.
But I caution you…we wary of your thoughts…for you always get from the universe…all that you put into it.

My Rays of Light Radio Network


How Would You Want To Be Remembered

 

I have been waiting to write about the Ray Rice video. I didn’t want to allow my previous experience to cloud what I needed to say about this situation. Often we can carry our own baggage into other people’s situations and that is unfair. I took the time to give both of them the benefit of the doubt, and decided to focus on what should really matter. So today, I feel confident and comfortable with my thoughts and ideas.

There are dynamics that none of us may understand about Ray Rice and his, now-wife. We don’t know how loving they are now. We do not know if the violence has subsided or if it has escalated. We can only hope that it is something they have addressed and have worked to get past. It is none of my business and I sincerely wish the two of them well.

I think, as parents, we give our children the wrong ideas about violence. We will solidly teach our sons not to hit girls. Some will even tell their sons that they should not hit girls…no matter what! And our daughters will sit by idly and listen. While we may think that we are teaching our sons to be better men…what are we teaching our daughters? Often the biggest lessons we give our children….are those that go unspoken. If we teach our sons that it is not acceptable to hit girls…but teach them that we expect them to defend themselves against other boys…what are we teaching our daughters? Are we creating a war between the sexes? Wouldn’t we be better parents if we armed all of our children with love and the truth…rather than thoughts of retaliation or rage?

As a woman who has endured domestic violence, please know that I am not excusing any abuse at all. The abuse I endured was inexcusable; and I have to admit that after a while…it became a matter of wanting to get him before he got me. I knew that every day my life could have been ended…by the efforts of someone that held no value in life, in general. But we must take a different look at an old problem, we should be teaching ALL of our children that it is not okay to hit ANYONE. Simply because, it isn’t.

It isn’t okay to strike someone, simply because we cannot find effective means of communication; or because the person we are debating or arguing with cannot “get” where we are coming from. If the discussion gets so heated that we “need” to physically offend the other person…it’s time to take that long walk. Give yourself the gift of a break. Allow your soul time to heal your thoughts…because it will. Learn to let go of anything that you cannot control. Instead, worship nature and the beauty that surrounds you. Concentrate on minimizing your breathing process. Allow your heart rate to become normal. Think about the birds singing or the crickets chirping. Listen for the children’s laughter. Feel the rustling of leaves in your heart….remember that you can create the change.

We should teach our children better coping skills. We should teach the value of the time out….not as a punishment, but as a means of realigning ourselves with our souls. Often we allow our ego to override the thoughts our souls have set up for us. Keeping in mind that our souls are here to elevate us and anything less just weighs us down.

Do I think that Ray Rice should have hit, punched or spat on his, then fiancé? NO. I find great offense in the fact that, at least one time in his life, he felt that behavior was okay. I appreciated the televised conference where he took responsibility for his error in judgment. But, unfortunately, often the apology can come too late. An “I’m sorry”, will not matter when there is a funeral being planned. And while this was not the case with Ray Rice…1 in 3 women are battered to the point of death. And 835,000 men are assaulted by their spouses or girlfriends, every year.

It is my hope that we do not take either statistic lightly. It is not funny when men are the victims of domestic violence. There are, most likely, so many unreported cases of men being abused by women. There are many reasons for this. Perhaps he doesn’t want to feel like less than a man. He may not want to be ridiculed by the authorities. I have to think this is a possibility, because I have felt the same way when I reported my abuse. The police and even the police chief sort of brushed it off. I cannot imagine how difficult that would be for a man…and my heart aches for all victims of abuse. It is not and should not be acceptable for men or women to be verbally, emotionally or physically abused…it MUST stop.

We are accountable for our own actions and words. Why would we treat people in a way that we would go to war about…if it were our children we were talking about?

Well, I have great news, because we are talking about our children. Our children are assaulting one another and we have the power to make changes. We should treat everyone in such a way that we would want to be treated.

Encourage our children to speak verbally…and that does not mean to verbally assault one another. It means to learn to communicate, in a loving and thoughtful way. Will this always work? Probably not, but isn’t it at least worth the consideration? Our children are killing one another. They are maiming one another’s souls…with their vile verbiage.

Lastly, allow me to say this: we are in a unique position to change things. We can begin to heal the damage that was done…but it cannot be done by carrying around the weight of thoughtless and careless people. We must step up and continue being the blueprint that others can follow. Be mindful of our thoughts and decisions. And before hitting another person…for whatever reason….be sure that we are prepared for the reaction and response to that decision.

Let us learn from the video of Ray Rice, if the actions of our lives were played out on video for the entire world to criticize and ridicule…would we be proud of our actions and reactions?

Live each day as if it is your last…how would you want to be remembered?

 

Join My Rays of Light Radio Tuesday Night at 10pm EST as we talk about this important issue

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mrol/2014/09/17/why-does-he-stay

If


If

If she tells you how he hurts her

Know that it is true

When you ask why she doesn’t tell

Remember she is turning to you

If you say it can’t be THAT bad

Or she wouldn’t ever stay

Know the dangers of judging

Don’t look at her that way

If she says that he hit her

Understand the sugar coating words

If you knew the extent of the truth

You would find it most absurd

Could you even fathom a life

Where hope is led astray

A life that once shined

Now is spent being afraid

If you are too busy discounting

Making excuses placing blame

You leave her abandoned

In her abuse induced shame

If you criticize her choices

As if you could do it better

You may push her over that cliff

Where she is lost forever

Wouldn’t it be worth the risk

In case she was lying

Than to forsake her safety

So many women are dying

If she comes to you for help

Know that it took all she had

It places her safety at risk

He could get angry, violent and mad

If for just a moment

You could wear her battle scars

You too would pray for relief

When you look up at the stars

You would have a deeper understanding

Of how she prays to not wake

Your reaction to her cries

All the difference it could make

The statistics are minimal

The pain of abuse is far reaching

Our children are watching

What ideas are we teaching

Reach out for her heart

I know this life too well

Extend a loving heart

Where God…always dwells

If you want to make a difference

Open your heart…lend an ear

She needs compassion…hope

While she lives in such fear

Women are abused daily

So listen closely to this

Please don’t waste time

On the judgmental ‘IF”


I Will Survive

Dear John Smith
This letter is overdue
Don’t let the anonymity fool
I’m not protecting you

I am in fact freeing me
By telling your story loud
I’m tired of living in fear
And getting lost in a crowd

You are just a simple number
There are many…evil as you
Who steal a woman’s hope and joy
While robbing her virtue

You should be ashamed
But you never behaved as such
You scarred my inner self
Making me quiver to a loving touch

You made me afraid of life
You made me afraid of me
You made me question myself
Who I used to be

But on this day I tell you
I fear you no more
I’m not afraid of the torture
Or whatever you have in store

You may have taken a piece
Of a special part of me
But I refuse to become you
A blister on humanity

I am my Fathers daughter
I stand tall…head held high
My heart stronger than ever
A tear slips through my sigh

I am sorry I ever gave you
A single bit of power
Taking the life away
From this most beloved flower

I am sorry that you are so sorry
I regret ever taking part
In a relationship so violent
Where you broke more than my heart

But today I am wiser
Today I am aware
You are just a battle wound
To me…you aren’t there

So claim victory if you must
But I will tell you the truth
There is no injury so severe
That God won’t see me through

I am not your possession
I am not ill gotten gains
I survived your Evil ways
And my faith…it remains

So crawl back to your hole
Where true cowardice lights
I am a warrior…forever
And I will survive


Our Limit is the Sky

Shouts made in anger
Threats creating fear
Made to be so much worse
When said by someone dear

His words tend to cut
Into the very heart of you
Were there good times…yes
But in comparison…very few

He needs to make you feel
Less than the woman that you are
But not what God wanted for you
As he peers down from the stars

You may want to give up
Just throw up your hands
But I’m telling you not to
Find strength…make a stand

His words while hurtful
Are still not true
He has yet to know
The real woman…which is you

The sad people who hurt us
Trying to cause us pain
Only bring out our inner warrior
Where only light remains

We cannot be defeated
By their negative tone
Because one fact remains true
You are not alone

Any effort which he has made
To break your tender heart
Is only made fruitless by
He who created us from the start

No matter what effects man
Chooses to impose
God knows the path which
Turns a seed into a rose

He knows what is best
For His children one and all
He gives us courage to walk
When we think we can only crawl

Stand up my dear sister
Hold your head high
For our Father walks with you
And while its okay to cry

Know that when your tears
Have dried in the light of His love
You will soar like God’s angels
On the wings of a snowy dove

You have strength and power
Not yet even tapped
It matters not where you have been
Only where you are at

And you are at the feet of God
He will help you rise
For when we submit to His will
Our limit is the sky

Enough


Enough

Today I want to tell you

Simply avert your attention

To something women go through

Almost too horrible to mention

But it happens more often than

Is spoken above her silence

It’s a terminal illness

It’s called domestic violence

That’s a basic term though

Doesn’t make it too clear

It’s about the physical and emotional

It’s about living in constant fear

Fear for yourself and your kids

For people you love no doubt

He will kill them all and

It’s that fear we are talking about

Fear to look up and

Fear to say a word

Fear to tell anyone

The things that you heard

Fear has its own life span

It can live longer than we

I know because one time

The fear almost killed me

Domestic Violence is a crime

Someone is stealing a dream

He is beating her pride

Molesting her self esteem

He is bruising her face

Breaking her fragile bones

Destroying all she ever had

For her…he thinks he owns

But ownership is not his

In fact this slavery can thrive

When we would rather find death

Than to suffer more alive

Do you know who she is

At least someone you suspect

You kind of sort of know

Just don’t want to say so yet

I’m here to tell you now

Later might be too vast

Her sand is draining out

Of life’s hour glass

Speak up she needs your help

For even if you love him

They both need to get help

To stop the rage within

We all want to claim ignorance

When the outcome of death arrives

But we failed to step up when

Both parties were still alive

Whether you love him or her

Or are just doing what is needed

Here is my sage advice

I hope you carefully heed it

He is killing her no question

The children are watching too

Someone needs to step up

Today that someone is you

 

Rise up to the challenge

Be the saver of this story

It’s about saving humanity

Not self-proclaimed glory

This is my Domestic Violence lesson

Sometimes we just need to be aware

That our women and children are dying

I’m asking that you be there

It’s not about butting in

It’s not about prying

It’s about humanity

Please stop it from dying

So make that call now

Before she withers away

Give her hope of a future

Tell her it starts today

Spread humanity I beg you

Reach out by reaching up

Give her strength to scream

Today I have had enough

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month…it exists…too many women are painfully AWARE…please help

1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

Her Only Crutch


Her Only Crutch

A bruise it can heal

A scar doesn’t begin to touch

A broken-hearted angel

Who once loved so much

We may claim its not so bad

Saying she got what she’s worth

But she is priceless

Value increasing since birth

For the sins of man make him low

The cost of sin is high

We have time to do what’s right

But even that’s passing by

She is no possession

No material gain

and your ill intentions…

You should be ashamed

She isn’t your possession

She isn’t owned or bought

But a loved child of God

Not a bird you have caught

Now don’t forget loves

Anything you do treat as pray

Will not find reasons to love you

But methods to run away

You may try to shame her

With your crude behavior and tone

But her survival plan is God

The only one she needs to own

For nothing is greater than

Our father in all His Glory

And He is watching you

He knows the REAL story

REAL men don’t have to hit

To get attention from a lady

They carry God’s empowering light

Don’t have to be shady

Real men don’t need to raise their hands

They are busy lifting their hearts

And that might not be everything

But it’s a very good start

So bruise her you may

But you are the one who is weak

Her salvation is her weapon

It is yours whose is bleak

So when you look at yourself

As an idol and such

She looks like a warrior

When God’s her only crutch

 **We must put an end to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE…Please speak out**

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