Tag Archive: frustration



My True Relief

I have known pain

I have known tears

I have known abuse

That causes REAL fear

I have known frustration

I have known isolation

I have known illness

I have known degradation

I have known loneliness

I have known hate

I have known racism

And other ills we create

I have known insincerity

I have known lies

I have known hurt so deep

Words cannot define

But when I let go of these

Reasons for being apart

When I looked with my soul

And opened up my heart

I realized that these things

Made me a woman who is strong

And what felt like years and years

Didn’t really last that long

For I am fueled by a source

Who says I am LIGHT

It fills my being

And clears my obstructed sight

I have known those things…yes

But let me tell you what

I have known much more

Than what I have not

I have known joy

I have known love

I have known peace

Given from above

So while I may have known disaster

And devastating illness and grief

I have also known HIM

My Father…my TRUE relief

Advertisements

Peace


Peace

I really just need a moment

A deep breath so to speak

God…if you’re listening

Can I borrow some peace

My heart it feels heavy

My frustrations are too high

I’m forcing back the tears

I don’t even know why

It may take a miracle maker

To give my heart release

But if you have it to spare

Can I borrow some peace

*****************

My child my creation

My heartbeat my breath

My light my stars

I love you past death

This peace that you seek

This heaviness you bear

Is not yours alone

I am always there

The thing you are after

The gracious release

Is here for the asking

Because…you ARE peace

You reflect my morning light

You embrace my moon beams too

All the peace you seek

Has been housed within you too

So take a deep breath

Let go of the weight

Peace is what you are

And therefore what you create

Smile that brilliant smile

Don’t let life take His glory

There’s also a path for that

But that’s another story

Shine on my peace maker

You are what you seek

May your heart be filled with love

And you have eternal peace

King of Kings


King of Kings

Another life is lost

  The world will do without

All because of the things

We slip out of our mouth

NO easy or tender way

To extract the truth of this

Only one way to tell it

Today this is it

Amanda Todd just fifteen

Took a life that was so young

Never to see her birthday

For damage had been done

NO question there is fault

Yet we still try to shift the blame

Call it bullying or harassment

Hate has many names

She tried to reach out

Even posted a video as to such

But on October tenth

The pain became too much

Yet and still her death wasn’t

Enough to slow our poor taste

We are missing the message

Evil is a waste

A waste of time and energy

A waste of life causing death

A waste of people who are wasting

Someone’s last breath

She tried suicide before

In fact drank a glass of bleach

She cried out for help

But was treated like a freak

A family now mourns

A beautiful soul lifted up

All because children were

Trying to be so tough

This lesson didn’t have to be

If humanity was in stilled

Instead of populating caskets

Would be hearts that we fill

Good bye beautiful child

I hope you finally find peace

I pray your fragile little heart

Will now be at ease

For the cruelty of humans

Is wasted on the divine

You will finally be accepted

By the Creator of mankind

And while we await our verdict

For the sins we forced on you

I pray we make a change

Or our souls will be taken too

Rest In Peace Amanda Todd

Angel who found her wings

I wish you blessings of peace

With the King of all Kings

**RIP Amanda Todd 11/27/96 – 10/10/12**


Thankful Everyday

I huffed in aggrevation
So fed up with my life so far
Maybe people have it worse
Can’t imagine who they are

I sat down on a bench
Along a city dog park
I don’t mind animals
If they didn’t have to bark

There was a man along side of me
He smiled as he sang a tune
I snapped why are you singing
He said the song is for me…my smile is for you

Keep your smile to yourself
I shot backat the nice enough gent
My day has been lousy
My tolerence is spent

But he continued his song
For some reason is was grated
He smiled and added
It’s why I was created

Another creation talk
That’s just what I need
I don’t have time for that
I’m a different breed

That’s what most say he added
Perspective is how we connect
It’s about finding something
You may not expect

What happened to your day
Hope you don’t mind that I ask
But maybe it would help
You need to relax

I shouted…you don’t know me
Don’t pretend that you do
I’m sick of this life
And I’m getting sicker of you

Now…I don’t know what
Made me scream at him so
But he took a deep breath
And slowly let it go

Do you hear that dog barking
He went onward to say
It may seem bothersome
But it’s how he sounds when he plays

He’s not angry about the fact
He walks on all fours
He just knows he feels love
In fact probably wants more

He went on…I love this sky
So beautiful in this way
I interjected the sun isn’t out
The skies are an ugly gray

He laughed at my remark
Oh…you are one of those types
Everything has its place
All must be…just right

Then his voice it got softer
I almost a whisper I found
It felt kind of strange
I started looking around

Let me tell you a secret he said
With not so much finesse
You think you have it bad
But people are happy with less

Be thankful for your gifts
But before he got to finish
I said you don’t know my probllems
I have a long long list

I’m sure you do he replied
Most who have…do
We could all create that list
I could make one too

But would it really matter
When all is said and through
Would it make you happy if I
Was as bitter as you

The truth my dear child
He said as he stood up
There have been times when I
Thought I had enough

Then he unfolded a stick
Dark glasses he put on his face
I hadn’t remembered feeling so bad
I felt so out of place

He looked and still smiled
I haven’t seen in a while
I developed a strange illness
When I was just a child

Problems you may have….it’s true
I know why you feel that way
But give thanks because you
Woke up again today

You saw the sun rise
Can probably watch it set
But if I was bitter about that
What would I really get

So instead I sing a song
And smile to places unknown
In hopes my Creator will be pleased
For compassion i have shown

So next time you start complaining
About this and/or that
Forget what you want
Be thankful for what you have

Peace and blessings he said
He meant it from the top
I wish you much love and joy
I swear i never forgot

I hope you enjoted my story
Of how God always finds a way
To remind us in all things
To be thankful everday

Baby Steps


Baby Steps

 

  Often we will walk about life; insistent that we are living it to the fullest. Yet our minds are full of suspicions. When will this person or the next do what will, most certainly, disappoint us; unfortunately, the chaos that we are waiting for; can actually be brought forth by our own negative thoughts; a self fulfilling prophecy, so to speak.

  It is good that we are aware that the end is coming; it helps us prepare for those left behind. The end of anything is inevitable, just as surely as there is a beginning, there will be an ending. What is not good for us; is to be so preoccupied with the ending that we fail to enjoy the ride getting there.

  We rarely will go to a movie without asking another person; if they saw it and how it ends. The explanation will make sense; why spend money on a movie if we do not like the outcome?

  It is another reason we may ask other people about the person we are in a relationship with. What is he/she like? Has he/she ever done this or that? To a degree we should know the type of person that we are dealing with; but are we so closely eyeing the end that we are failing to enjoy the moment?

  When people die; we will say that if we only knew this was going to happen, we would have done things differently. We would have had that last loving conversation. We would have said “I love you”; so many more times. People generally do one, of two things; we will constantly eye the ending and fail to live; or we will be oblivious to the end and miss out on what matters.

  If we are constantly watching out for the ending; we can miss the valuable gems in the middle. The destination is really not as important as the paths we cross to get there. But if we are so intently seeking the ending then we will miss the flowers set out for us along the way. The end will come; of that we can be certain. A movie will end; a relationship will end; life most definitely will end. The question now should be; what did we learn or gain from the experience?

  Be aware, there is always something to gain, in all things. Even a relationship that ends will show us something. The problem with this being; we will often think that it was a waste of time and energy. However, if we look deeper into the situation; we might be able to say that we learned something from it; even if we only learned what we do not want or need. We must allow ourselves the experience of the journey, in order to ingest the lessons that were intended for us.

  Do not be so afraid of the end that we become our own executioners. Go into life situations cautiously; but I implore you to still go. Be aware that not all relationships will be the ones that great romantic novels speak about. Be aware that we may never find the romantic lines spoken on the big screen, in our lives. But also be aware that those novels and movies; were created. These moments were staged; the words were well thought out and edited. Our lives are better than that; because our lives are unique. No one else will have ever seen your life before; therefore the experience is one that has never been seen.

  Our lives are like great block buster hits; that no one can spoil the ending to.

  No one wants to be hurt. But we will all be hurt, in one way or another. Allow the hurt to tell you something; let it speak to you. Let the heart break or tears show you exactly what you were being taught all along. Often it is only in our heartbreak that we realize the exact impact that situation had on us. It is a reminder that we were touched by someone or something.

  Think about the effects the ending of a movie has on us. Often we do not feel the love or loss of whatever relationship is developed during the course of a movie; until the very end. The end will make us laugh, cry, or just give us a sense of relief. These feelings and emotions are what will tell us how beautiful the story was. The lumps in our throats, or tears in our eyes are reminding us how we were touched by the sentiment behind the movie. But usually, we don’t cry all the way through the movie; it is the ending that will wrap all of it together for us.

  Loss is hard. No matter how hard it is; there is one fact that will remain, the world will keep spinning. In our sadness and grief, the rest of the world will keep moving. While we must all grieve in our own way; we must all learn to move on in our own way too. Recall the experience, embrace the memories; these are tasks that are harder than they seem. How often does one hear, “go on with your life”; “this is not what he/she would have wanted for you”; we all must move through grief in our own way. It is a definite loss, an absence is felt. These are wounds that run deep; they take time to heal, allow your self that time.

  Whether we are grieving the loss of a relationship, or the loss of a life; the pain is very real. But in the middle of that grief; read, sing, dance, you could even write. All of these things are baby steps which will lead you down your path. Just because someone makes something look easy; does not mean that it is. Every baby step is one closer to the goals set for us; where our heart break is more bearable. Make the steps for yourself and for others…just as this is my baby step for you.

Rays of Light


Rays of Light

 

Just to take a moment

To tell you what I mean

When I say God’s Rays of light

The love that it brings

We have all had an experience

Not understanding the pain

Thinking if God loved me

Why would I hurt this way

But later in life we would realize

If we had stayed in that place

Would’ve done more harm than good

Something’s can not be erased

Even in illness I have seen

The nature of man

Blame God for the situation

Not trying to understand

The circumstance is not as negative

As we might be led to believe

But when our spirits are down

It’s easy to be deceived

For I believe the very love

Which allows a flower to grow

Is what allows adversity

Permitting a Father’s love to show

I have known illness too

I have been on the edge of it all

I have been the root of sadness

A family starting to fall

But never in that moment

And there have been a few

Did I doubt my Creator’s love

Something I always knew

Did you ever wonder why

We were allowed to see a world on fire

Why we happen to turn on the TV

Watching the whole thing transpire

We may have questioned God even then

How could He allow this to occur

This being who created all

Water…trees…plants…even birds

But maybe there is something bigger

A plan we didn’t see come

Saying don’t just sit there

I have work yet to be done

So for all intense purposes

We must do what we know is right

Give God’s love to everything

For that is a RAY OF LIGHT

Sweet Warrior


 Although you didn’t realize it I heard you cry

 I know of your pain

And while it may be hard to believe

 I, too, have felt the shame

 

Every blow he has dealt you

I have felt before

And while you may think

You can take no more

 

Please know that you

Are stronger than steel

Even when you are crying

No matter what you may feel

 

His attempt to destroy the light

Within your heart

Has failed miserably every time

 Of that there is no doubt

 

I know you feel alone

Because once I did too

He leaves his weakness

On your face…a bruise

 

I want you to understand

I need you to see

How much you are loved

Starting with me

 

I love your strength

And the resolve on your face

I love the fact that

He can’t keep up with your pace

 

I adore the reminder that with you

God always smiles

And even if it feels like

You haven’t seen it in a while

 

The power behind your smile

In spite of the ongoing pain

Always brings out your sunshine

When he only wants to see rain

 

The sparkle in which

Your eyes always show

Is a constant reminder

Of the love you now know

 

God loves you sweet warrior

Never doubt that fact

I know you feel alone

But no matter where you are at

 

You are being divinely watched over

And his cowardly deeds

Will soon be repaid

With God’s wrath…a fact he should heed

 

Please hold on to this notion

That you are not alone

And you grow stronger

With every punch that is thrown

 

And while I will ask you

 To please find away

To muster up your strength

And quickly walk away

 

Until you are able to break free

Know that you aren’t the only one

And God is watching over you

And His will…soon will be done

%d bloggers like this: