Tag Archive: holidays

What is Death

What is Death?


So I was thinking today…what does death mean to me?

This is important this time of year, because of the holidays that we have spent together. Anyone who has ever lost anyone due to death knows what I am talking about; we do not want to take special occasions that we spent, with those loved ones, and make them hurtful or negative to think about.

There had to be another way to think about this, I thought to myself. Holidays are physical dates; we can’t cry or scare them away with our inability to evolve our feelings into experiences. I noticed though, especially in myself, that was exactly what I wanted to do. What I noticed was, my sisters birthdate was still going to happen…whether my heart was ready for it or not. The holidays that we used to create beautiful memories…were still going to be holidays that come back around every year…even if I was angry that I was standing here…alone.

How do I make this better for myself, so I can make it more bearable for others that love me too?

Death became something different to me on January 4th. On that date death became my enemy; it was out to hurt me…and hurt I did.

I remembered thinking to myself, as I did as a child when traumatic things happened, what could I have possibly done to deserve this? This, of course was a very immature thought and my higher-self did not allow me to hold onto the direction this was going toward.

When I was reminded that this wasn’t about me; it brought back an image from TV or movies…where the actress was grabbed by the shoulders or smacked in the face…”SNAP OUT OF IT”!!

Okay, so I got that it wasn’t about me…but I felt the emptiness and blankness that this loss gave me.

I guess time was all I needed to make sense out of this. I loved my sister; and her death I felt was almost a welcome relief for her. She would no longer know pain or disappointment…and I could want no less for her and still claim to love her.


What does death mean to me? Death is our life “wake up” call. It reminds us how short our time on earth really is. How are we going to spend our last days and moments here? The last thing I would want to leave as my legacy is that I was angry at death…before it ever knocked on my door.


Death leaves a trail of grief; it has no time line. It can come rushing back into our thoughts without any notice. We all have to survive it the best way that we can. I took the bittersweet memories of my sister and created a recipe of life basted in love.

I think we all know someone who lost someone…let us be there for them. Nothing begins the healing process like a cup of kindness and a dash of laughter.

Laugh often…share memories; the place these angels had in our lives was filled beautifully…don’t let that be in vain. Spread their memories…shine their love through your laughter.


Upon writing this I learned of the death of actor Paul Walker. I hope you will join me in praying for his daughter and family…during this most difficult time.


As always…may Love and Light be with you forever.

Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks in 2013


This year has been a remarkable year for me. 2013 has been become my year of survival; and I wanted to take a moment to share that experience with you.


This will be my third complete year since my sister passed away. It has been quite a journey. Instead of taking that loss and making it a negative in my life; I found a way to smile past the tears. While many people, sometimes even myself; weren’t certain that I would survive it…I did. I survived the loneliness and grief that her absence left me with. I remembered to smile when her name ran across my lips. I talked about her and wrote about her every single time; my heart felt heavy. I reminded others how blessed they are every day; and how truly short life can be. I wrote and published my 5th book “In The Blink of An Eye”; a book which encompasses my journey of loss and grief, after her unexpected death. While there may never be another beautiful blue eyed girl in my life; I am grateful for knowing her…my best friend from God. I often hope that she is looking down, not only in my sadness; but I hope she is watching when I am laughing and loving, too. There was never a more clear vision of my Creator, as when she was walking in my life. I hope that 2014; also brings you…that spectacular angel energy that I was blessed with.


I want to say that we lost so many children this year; but the truth is they were taken, just as many children were lost last year. I pray for the day that we can all live in harmony with one another. Maybe we can start…today?


This year I survived another stroke; I once again won a war that Lupus waged on my body. I never let these moments pass without being totally honest about them; Lupus is a constant thief. It tries to steal every inch of health, love, hope and goodness from us. We get to decide what we allow it to have. This is not to take away from anything that anyone else is suffering with; as we all have unique experiences. But in my final thoughts of 2013; LUPUS failed.


I am thankful to all of you. You have helped make my year beautiful. You have given me hope; when mine was depleting. You allowed me into your lives and you nurtured mine, by doing so. You made me painfully aware of the violence we create against our fellow man and also all the animals within our wonderful planet. I was reminded of the issues of child abuse, neglect, starvation, homelessness, racism, violence and indifference that we are spilling onto one another’s lives. This is a blessing because until we shine light into the dark…we don’t realize that we are the ones that live there.


We are the dwellers of the darkness. We live in the dark, without realizing that the battle lines are drawn every time we choose to say nothing.


I am thankful for my family this year, and every year. We have continued to stand firm and strong; you are the glue which holds my soul together. I love you all.


I am finally and always thankful for a most Gracious Creator. Thank you for having patience and love with me; I know I don’t always make it easy. Thank you for showing me where to shine the light; and for guiding me when true adversity had set in. I am forever grateful for your vision of my life; ALL I AM, IS ALL YOU WANT ME TO BE…I am humbled.


I wish us all the greatest new year; remember to love one another in our hearts, minds souls, tongues and ears…so divine love can guide us home.


Walks With Angels

Walks With Angels


Walking with angels

It is that which she does

Smiling and laughing

Filling Heaven with her love

She no longer feels

Hurt or pain

And while I may never

Feel the same

Her time here was over

She needed to rest

Knowing her was a privilege

No doubt I was blessed

No question she honored us

Each day with her smile

This angel God allowed us

 To know for a while

Like clockwork her laughter

Resounds in my ear

When I need her voice

Or just wish she was here

She whispers sweetly

“You are not alone”

I never left your heart…

My permanent home

I couldn’t ever walk

 Away from you

I would have never left…

You know it’s true

However the plans of God

Are never in vain

And while you may think

Things have changed

She went on to say…

God had plans for me

And just knowing you

Gave me wings

Please do not cry

And do not mourn

For you, too,

Will be reborn

It’s like a balmy paradise

Every single day

We smile on those we’ve met

Along the way

Please smile when I

Come to your heart

And know you have been there

From the start

Nothing so beautiful

You could ever have known

As when our Father

Calls us home

While you feel my absence

From your ear

Know that God

Will keep me near

For on your lifelong journey

Which may at times seem bleak

I will always be here by your side

With anything you seek

Don’t worry my love

And don’t feel awry

God is watching over you

And He’s right by my side

So I ask you today

Welcome joy in your heart

Knowing you may not see me…

But we are never apart

God Saw Us Through

God Saw Us Through


As an old year passes

And a new is on its way

I wanted to give thanks

For paths I crossed along the way


It may not have been forever

But in my heart you will stay

Sometimes the largest blessings

Are found at the end of the day


Even though our encounters

May have seemed too brief

Your life is forever written

In my divine memory


Your loss may have caused tears

And your absence may make me sad

But I am thankful for the opportunity

To share the experiences we’ve had


When the New Years bell rings

And lovers embrace

Let us not forget

Those we met along the way


The people who touched us

By simply taking a breath

Never leaving our hearts

Through life…or through death


Let us rejoice in the feeling

That God saw us through

With love and understanding

In all we say and all we do


Falling to our knees

In our most humble of prayers

Asking for guidance

In everything and everywhere


May the New Year bring us

Joy and eternal peace

And guide us down His path

With love and with ease


Join me in wishing

To man and woman alike

Happy Holidays for all

And to all a good night


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The Sweetest Things

The Sweetest Things


  The most beautiful gift that anyone didn’t lay in my hands…was the most wonderful gift I have ever known.

  This tends to be the season for gift giving. The stores are mobbed with last minute shoppers looking for the greatest gift ever. You will find sales papers and inserts, in the retail industries attempt to bring up sales for the end of the year. The internet will display online only bargains. Not surprisingly, these sales will contain the very thing…which most of the time…you never even knew that you wanted. There will be boxes and gift bags topped with ribbons and bows of bright red, gold and green. I have to admit, I love giving gifts also, and it gives me a feeling of warmth.

  But I have recently started trying to do fewer gifts which lean on the monetary side…and instead give gifts from the heart. Tangible presents can be exciting, that video game that everyone is talking about, the newest DVD that was just released, the perfect diamond ring that says I love you. Don’t get me wrong, those are great gifts; but I am more impressed with the gifts that come from the heart. They can still be tangible…something that we can have or hold…but they are presents that are more personable.

  For instance, this year I am giving I love you journals to the most important people in my life. Yes, I actually purchased the blank journals. However, I am filling all the pages with words that come from my heart. I am expressing my gratitude, love and appreciation through my words. I am even going as far as to handwrite my thoughts to them. Now, of course, this isn’t something that I would do for everyone…writing everyday in more than 2 journals and keep up with my daily writing…would be quite a task. But through these journal pages I hope that they will find the treasures that can not be bought. I am translating the language of my heart onto journal entries…and hopefully, in the years to come…they will reflect on what I wrote and remember this moment in time when they were important enough in my life to take this effort for.

  There are other things that we do, at my house to express how special people are to us. For instance, we will make cookies and candy and send them out to our loved ones. It’s our way of giving a part of ourselves to those that we hold so dear. Again, these are tangible…but the effort put into each gift, makes them priceless.

  Wal-Mart and Target will not be putting love, affection, or friendship on a sale rack this year. They will not offer tenderness, devotion, or kindness at an auction on EBay. We will not be able to Google the business address for joy, happiness, or delight. There will be no website to visit in order to find where or how to express jubilation during this holiday season.

  In order to give the gift that keeps on giving…and is unique every time you give to another person…we only need to seek it within ourselves. We can give the gift of love and life…simply by touching the hearts and minds of others. A homemade card can mean more than anything that Hallmark may have to offer. It is amazing how a little glitter and paint can warm a soul.

  This year I am asking all my friends and loved ones to give the gift of self. Donate time at a children’s hospital reading Christmas stories, to terminally ill children. Volunteer to work in the local soup kitchen serving dinner to those that have less than we do. Offer to babysit for a neighbor so that they can spend some time on themselves; shovel the sidewalk of an elderly person…just for the joy of doing it. Go out with a bunch of friends singing Christmas Carols in your neighborhood…and watch your gifts multiply.

  The best gifts given are those we give of ourselves. We can give our time or energy…and that investment will spread like a wild fire. When we give from our souls and not our wallets…we are giving a part of ourselves. We are touching the hearts of people who probably have forgotten how very special that they truly are. We should start reminding people that the most valuable offering we can give…is the gift of God’s undeniable love for us. Visiting with the elderly or disabled at a nursing home, can be more important than any diamond necklace ever would be.

  This year give compassion and watch it grow. The sweetest things in life do not cost anymore than a smile or a hug. Love is endless…eternal…and infinite, but it cannot be bought or bartered. Give the gift that gives back…the radiance of God’s unwavering love.

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