Tag Archive: husband


To My Husband


A letter to my husband Akir:

 

My dearest, my love, my life,

Sometimes we take those we hold the closest for granted. I don’t think it is something that anyone intends to do; certainly nothing that I would ever intentionally do. But all too often, we take precious moments with those we love the most and feel that we may have time to express this or that; and often that is a false sense of security. Time is a fallacy. The true measure of time is not held in minutes…but in moments. And often, we spend so many moments complaining about time…that the sands in our hour glass slip away. Tomorrow is not promised, as we have been shown…in the most painful ways.

I want to not allow another moment to go by with that thought in my mind.

I can remember the morning that I received the phone call about my sister; the first phone call saying that she wasn’t breathing. I jumped out of bed…knowing I had to go to her. I remember breathing heavily as I told you that I had to go to New York. It seemed like hours later, but in reality it was only about five minutes, before I would receive the second phone call stating that she was gone. You spoke cautiously, barely above a whisper…”are you okay?” I said the only thing that I knew to say…”I don’t know what ‘okay’ is anymore”. It still brings a lump to my throat when I think of those moments. The only thing that I could compare that moment to …was another monumental day. When the first plane hit the Twin Towers…I remember just absorbing what the news had told us; and then the second plane it. The breath was knocked out of a nation…and that was the same emotion that the second phone call had on me. I was blindsided. No one is ever really prepared for that moment.

When she died, I was left with a large gaping hole in my heart. How does a person find the strength to go on, when the one constant love in their life has been taken away? I felt like a large balloon that someone had poked a small hole in. Every day I felt my life slipping away. I cried more often than I even allowed you to know. I was drowning in memories and the thought that she and I would create no more.

You saved me. You listened and held me close to your heart. You made how I grieved okay. You made my heart ache less…because you never told me NOT to talk about her. Slowly, I began to live again. You made everything that I felt and thought…okay. You breathed love back into my badly battered heart. There is no way to repay that gift. And if you or I were to ever keep score of who did what for whom…you won the game that day.

These moments cannot be expressed and acknowledged enough. While it would probably be enough that you encouraged me to write about her; your love took you many steps further. You helped me find my smile and it hasn’t left me since.

I live with an illness that attempts to kill my body every day. I live with the fact that Lupus uses other health conditions to try and slow me down. I suffer with Sjogrens and I have had multiple strokes…due to how seriously Lupus tends to lead an attack on my body. And every single day you remind me that I am blessed. You encourage my spirit…and because you show up every day…I refuse to quit fighting. While I may receive kudos and pats on the back for being strong enough to endure Lupus, Cancer and Strokes…you are my unsung hero. You simply allow my heart to melt into yours…and the stars seem to shine more brightly again.

I think the thing that people always tend to forget is that without darkness…we would never know the light. We cannot measure good…unless we have experienced evil. We have to have a measure…by which to compare these precious moments. There are some obstacles that we are simply destined to overcome. If I hadn’t known darkness…I would have never have known the light…of your love. I am truly blessed.

There simply are no words that have ever been written or murmured that could ever express all that you are to me; but I will gladly search the rest of my life looking for them. You give me something to look up to. You make me want to be a better person.

Some may look at you and see a beautiful man; and while I cannot disagree…I see more. For when I look at you…I see God. A Creator who loved me so much; that my heart was given a “forever home”.

So while these thoughts may not find the words to tell you often enough…I thank you.

Thank you for being you…and for loving me without restrictions.

I love you…for more reasons than can be counted in a lifetime.

Thank you for the gift of this love…my husband…my friend…my partner…my life

 

All my love…forever…

Me

 

Advertisements

Valentine’s Day


 

Valentine’s Date

When I say we don’t celebrate

Valentine’s Day

People always misunderstand

What I’m trying to say

So today I am hoping to

Try and dispel

The myths by shining light

On truths I’m going to tell

If I spent February 14th

Just a day in the year

Showing 365 days full of love

That I have for my dear

I would run out time

For a day is far too brief

To display a year’s love of life

To my soul’s partner…you see

No amount of candy….flowers

No amount of romantic songs

Could ever say…you have my heart

To you it always belonged

So instead I will spend every day

Showing you…my love’s eternal flame

That I know how you love me

And I feel exactly the same

From Ocean to ocean

NO matter what life brings about

Thank you for a great Valentine Year

There’s more in store without doubt

So here is to us…

May we have millions more in store

May our Creator guide us through

This and so much more

Thank you for loving me

You are my greatest gift…no debate

Thank you for making my life a giant

Valentine’s Date

The Doctor’s Visit


The Doctors Office

One day while I was waiting

To see the doctor around noon

I noticed an elderly man

As he slowly walked across the room

He seemed in a hurry not in movement

But his words…although kind

Simply asked if he could see the doctor next

If the nurse would not mind

She offered the man no hope

“The Doctor is busy today”

So he said thank you

And sat down in dismay

“Are you late for another appointment?”

I asked, “Are you ill?”

He smiled kindly…”No…”

But I have an important date…still”

He went on to say…”everyday at the same time”

“I meet my wife for lunch”

“She was never much for breakfast”

“And doesn’t care for brunch”

“Well…surely she will understand” I added

With a smile

He began, “no, not likely she hasn’t”

“Been herself in awhile”

He patted my young hand

And says, “For 50 years”

“She has been my lunch date”

“And I can’t stop here”

But its only one day, I exclaimed

As he patiently sat in wait

“Yes, but the last 15 have been a

Nursing home date”

“She is very ill…Alzheimer’s they say”

“She doesn’t even know my name”

“I doubt she would even miss me”

And I cried…”isn’t that a shame”

Then I added without thought

“If she doesn’t even know who you may be

Why go everyday and sit

And he smiled and said…”you see”

“Even if she doesn’t know me”

“I know who she is in my life”

“She’s been the answer to my prayers”

“My friend…my love…my wife”

“So if I must spend everyday”

“That God has given me left”

“To remind her how I love her”

“And how my life has been so blessed”

“I would give up all my possessions”

“I would lay down my last breath”

“I would follow her to the ends of the earth”

“I would follow her into death”

“It is my job to remind her that”

“She is my one and only queen”

And as a tear rolled down my cheek, I said

…”Nurse…this man needs to be seen”

For never in my years had I felt

A love that was so tender…so deep

As the day in the doctors office

When my heart rolled down my cheek

He Gave Her His Ring


 Love unrequited

Love so brand new

They knew it instantly

 When they came into view

 

Like a missing piece to a puzzle

And the magic it brings

 God joined them together

 When he gave her his ring

 

Two souls that needed

Only one heart

Where her sentence left off

His began to start

 

After sixty five years

Of wedded bliss

Only having an “US”

 Not hers…not his

 

 Walking through life together

 Happily as one

But before it was over

Said and done

 

As she slowly walked

Up Heavens golden stairs

He whispers softly

I will meet you there

 

And eighty eight minutes

 After his love passed that day

Her loyal soul mate

Faded away

 

This bittersweet moment

Life’s true tale

That love conquers all

Without fail

 

Their life was made full

By our Blessed King

 It goes to show

What true love means

 

They said he died

 From a broken heart

 But I think it was a beginning

A divine new start

 

 So rest in peace

And with the angels sing

 This love story that started

When he gave her his ring

 

***This was inspired completely by the story of Marjorie and James Landis a couple who were married for 65 years…who died 88 minutes apart. May God Bless Them

%d bloggers like this: