Tag Archive: Jane Doe

When Is Rape Okay

When Is Rape Okay

When Is Rape Okay

Yesterday I saw a post on Facebook. I went to the author’s website and found (just for clarification); that when these high school students were asked to answer the questions, it was on a rating scale 0-5. Zero equaled not agreeing at all, therefore symbolic of “NO”. Any rating over zero, would be counted as a “yes”. I just wanted that to be clear before I wrote this, although I don’t think that the number on the scale that each child chose, above zero matters. Allow me just this courtesy…RAPE IS WRONG.

This post had me thinking, past the lump I felt in my throat. I was disappointed in the fact that these young males felt this way; for any man to think it would ever be okay to force sex upon another.  What I found deeply disturbing was that any female would think this behavior was acceptable; why would we think that any situation would make this horrible and vile act appropriate?

Beyond talking to our children about the dangers of strangers; what do we teach them? Do we teach our sons that it is NEVER okay to force anyone to have sex? Or do we think that the logic is implied? At this point, we can effectively come to the conclusion that it is not. Where are our daughters getting their education from? Why would anyone of our young women think that she has no say over her body? Where is the self-respect and honor? Where would our sons develop the mentality that they EVER have the right to force sex on another person?

This posting had my heart feeling heavy. If I learned nothing from the rape of the Steubenville, Ohio teen; I learned that far too many people think that when a woman is drunk or high…that consent is implied, even if she is unable to say no.

To the young men and women who answered “yes”; by responding that it was okay for a man to force a woman to have sex if:

1. He spends a lot of money on her

2. He is so turned on he doesn’t think he can stop

3. She is drunk or stoned

4. She has had sex with others

5. They have dated for a long time

6. She wanted to, but then changed her mind

Allow me to share something with you, rape cannot be changed. Rape is not one moment on a random day/night; rape lasts your entire life. You never forget the feeling of degradation. You never forget the questions that your mind poses, that will never have an answer. Rape is far reaching…no matter what anyone says.

Anytime someone tells you that rape isn’t THAT bad…they are lying. It destroys lives and can permanently destroy the hearts and souls of men and women.

As parents, it is our responsibility to arm our children with the knowledge of love. Respect must be taught…through observation. Our children are watching what we say, do and respond to; our speech must be kind and loving. Keep in mind, we teach our children callousness.

As for these young women, who also participated in this “poll”?

Love yourselves. No one has the right to force sex on you. Respect your body and your decisions; do what is right for you. You do not owe anyone anything; your body is sacred.

We need to change the rules, so we can change our frame of mind. If she/he does not say YES…the answer is no. If she/he says yes, then changes his/her mind…the answer is no. Paying for a meal, present or any other such thing…does NOT purchase him/her sexually. If you are so turned on that you don’t think you can stop…don’t even start. NO matter how long you have known him and no matter what your relationship is…it is always your decision to make.

We must do better. We are assisting in the demise of these young souls, by sitting in silence. We must take a pro-active role in the lives of these young people, who are our future. Rape is not a phase that someone goes through…it is a felony.

Remember my friends, rape is a crime that destroys. Talk to your sons and daughters; do not make excuses, like those made for the rapists in the Jane Doe case in Ohio. Stop placing the victim on trial, when we do this…we are embracing the sexual predator.

While no one wants to think their child is a predator, when we sweep such behavior under the rug…we are breeding it.

Love one another…and please…please stop the insanity.

We Are All Jane doe

We Are All Jane Doe

A crime often misrepresented

A woman under assault

Society telling her

It must have been her fault

Why did you wear those clothes

Why did you go to that place

What made you drink so much

Verbal assaults can’t be erased

She is the victim/ survivor

She managed to stay strong…be tough

She didn’t realize her protection

Would be treating her so rough

 A tear slides down her cheek

She must have done something wrong

She is cheap, easy…a drunk

She simply doesn’t belong

She stole his bright future

She brought negativity to our town

Never mind the sexual assault

Or when the “hero” threw her down

Never mind that she said no

Or worse…she didn’t say yes

Never mind the invasion made

To get a simple arrest

You are mad her name isn’t displayed

What…her wounds aren’t severe enough

Would your harsh accusations exist

If Jane Doe was someone you loved

Jane I understand it now

I know your pain is real

I too…have been tainted

I sadly know how you feel

The empty hollow feeling

The silent tears you shed

What good is survival

When they wish you were dead

I know the hand slaps you received

Shame on your behavior…you

Shouldn’t have tempted him so

While you ask…what did I do?

The truth …be it told

No matter what anyone will say

She was a victim who survived

And shouldn’t be treated this way

She was robbed of her virtue

And no matter what clothes she wore

Regardless of how late she was out

Whether she drank or she swore

She is a child of God

Protected by his Grace

No one has the right

To steal her sacred place

So my friends I implore you

Stop victimizing her again

She is someone’s daughter

She didn’t deserve this end

Stand up and speak out

Tell everyone one you know

Rape is NEVER okay

And we are ALL Jane Doe


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