I have written and spoken many times about Domestic Violence. This is something that I, personally, survived. I know there are some people that may want me to be quiet about it and there are others that may NEED me to be quiet about it. But the problem with this is that I dream of a world where women don’t have to hide their faces in social media. I dream of a time and place where women don’t have to hide bruises or make excuses for a man that has no self-control.
Whether this is a world that you are unaware of or if it’s a life that you have and are trying to keep quiet…here is my message to you:
I survived a difficult cycle in my life…but there are others that are experiencing it and have no voice. I will continue to speak out on this, because whether it fits into our ideas about who a person “really” is or not…this behavior exists. Unless you have been through this, I don’t even think you could fathom what that life is like. And if any of us want this behavior swept under the rug or would prefer that it is not spoken on here or on our radio show…I am left to wonder why?
Everything in the darkness always comes to light…no doubt about that; even if that light is only there to show us who we really are.
Abuse comes in all sizes and shapes, all races, creeds and religions; we cannot think that because a woman doesn’t come forward when WE think she should…if she comes forward at all, that it isn’t true. There is nothing as tormenting as hiding behind bushes hoping that you won’t be seen. There is nothing quite like…fearing nighttime. There is nothing like being afraid everywhere you go…no one should have to live that way…yet there are those of us who will tell you…that struggle is very real.
I will not minimize it or make it seem “not THAT bad” to make another person more comfortable. What happened to me and so many other women should be screamed from the rooftops…only then will this learned behavior stop.
There is nothing like the damage that abuse does to you. It leaves scars and we carry those scars forever. We forever carry around the weight that those types of experiences taint our souls with. It is one thing to survive it…that in itself is miraculous…because too many of us aren’t lucky enough to escape and others of us are too afraid to try but it is quite another to have to break the cycle. The real struggle is when we find real love…that everlasting love and we are so busy watching for cues and clues of abuse that we destroy the innocent in our lives. Of course, that is the point of abuse, to destroy us for another person. I beg of you to not let that happen. I know it isn’t easy. Bruises are so much simpler to hide and heal than a soul that has been tortured.
I will forever speak out against this horrific life cycle. I may make people uncomfortable, but if that is the case…maybe we should ask ourselves …why? Why do you, I or anyone need this swept under the rug? Are we sick of hearing about it or are we hiding who we really are? Are we speaking out of line with the people in our lives? Calling one another names…belittling one another. Is this the best that we can do? Would silencing me make things easier?
Unfortunately silencing me will not change anything…and too many of my sisters are being battered and broken, by people that claim to love them. The time for awakening is now. We don’t have time to sit around and try to figure out why he hits, pushes, slaps, punches, or verbally assaults her. We have no more time to try to find an understanding about why he holds her captive monetarily. While I hope these individuals get the help that they need…it is not the victims place to try and FIX him…because you didn’t break him. Sometimes we have to love people from afar.
As for myself, I will continue to speak out against anyone…male or female that abuses another human being. No one should have to live this way and hiding from it …changes nothing. If you are a man or woman in this situation…speak out…you have a voice. You are not alone…reach out.
For all others that have requested that I silence my thunder…the storm is just beginning…buckle up.
I wish you all light and love.